[ Alaric is surprised sometimes by how suffocating he finds being a submissive in Duplicity. He would have expected, based on what he's already told Caleb about his life and what he's going to, not to be bothered at all.

Turns out, he's accounted badly for both the way he served previously - and the fact that he had a certain amount of power, even if he was not well liked or trusted. This is getting old. Sometimes even people caring about and trying to protect him is too much just in how it is presented.

And that's with loving people he sincerely, deeply, cares about.

He smiles, tightly, at Caleb as though aware of the direction of caleb's thoughts (he is but only because he can guess), and picks up his fork. ]

At home it was... not about this sort of service or status. I was too young to remember when I was committed to act in magical service to the future king. When he became king and my father died, I moved into the castle, as a page. Then a knight. Ultimately as a Duke in full and general, but also as the key to unlock his own brand of magic and to protect him. I loved and love him. But there was never an option of not being deeply bound to him.