ipswichson: (We want them young)
Caleb Danvers ([personal profile] ipswichson) wrote2020-08-17 07:36 pm
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❝ Caleb Danvers. Son of Ipswich. Leave a message.❞

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chrisisofaith: (1- Obligatory Back of Head)

[personal profile] chrisisofaith 2022-05-11 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Because I don't know that I have a choice. He haunts my dreams and memories whether I chose to focus on him or not. So, not thinking on it only lasts so long. Then, when I do, I'm reminded it's waiting for me if I'm ever kicked back out of here.

I'm not sure how to turn it off.
ipswichson: (Immanence)

[personal profile] ipswichson 2022-05-12 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
What about magic? Maybe we can find a magical means of blocking him from your memory? At least for a time, until you return home? When you return home?
chrisisofaith: (1- Look Down)

[personal profile] chrisisofaith 2022-05-12 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
If someone offered to magically block your memory of your first dominant here, would you take it?

What about of that boy you mentioned once? The one you had to fight?
ipswichson: (Swallow)

[personal profile] ipswichson 2022-05-14 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know. It's hard sometimes with this place enforcing how he and another made me feel. The echoes of being nothing more than property to two people I cared about? Maybe.

But I also don't know your relationship with this man either. Or what it's hurting you or holding you back from in this world.
chrisisofaith: (1- Stress)

[personal profile] chrisisofaith 2022-05-17 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps a bad example then, you've right to your thoughts on it. Though, if you wanted it gone, I think there's a place that does stuff like that in Insincerity.

Bane was my first god. I served him for 8.5 years. He was not kind. I know his influence has only worsened my control issues and probably instilled a number of others I've not bothered to examine.

But that's my point I guess: he's a hurt, but it's not a hurt I know how to live without. Plus, I started following him around the same time I shed my skirts and figured out who Chris was, so I really don't know if there's actually a me without him.

[...]

don't mind me. all that dramatically to say I'm not sure picking my thoughts and fears of him out will help me any here.
ipswichson: (Default)

[personal profile] ipswichson 2022-05-19 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't trust the powers of this place to do anything like that. I know I don't have to worry about any of that anymore. I have Nate, and I am more secure in myself and this place now.

I will mind you, Chris. I'm here for you and I ask these things because I care.

As for the rest... We don't know we won't one day find a way out of here without them stripping us of our memories. So maybe start working on those things here in case it can help you there if and when the time comes?

Then maybe it won't haunt you as much?
chrisisofaith: (1- Intimate)

[personal profile] chrisisofaith 2022-05-20 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
Fair enough, not sure I trust them full either.

Yeah. Maybe. I can see both sides of the argument. I wish I could simply put it aside, but maybe if I resolve it now in me, that will grant some peace in the meantime, whether I go home again or not.


Thank you, love
ipswichson: (Ghost)

[personal profile] ipswichson 2022-05-22 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I have my reasons to want to be here too, but that doesn't mean I trust them.

Figure it out. Know then that your mind will work it out again. Because I do trust you'll work it out.

Any time, Chris. I love you and I'm here for you.
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