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[ The hesitation says a lot, and Caleb can understand. He has heard about so much that his friends have been through, the things they've learned and how hard and heartbreaking they are.

Its that kiss though that truly tells him so much more than the hesitancy does.

Gathering Chris in close as he returns the kiss. Trying to offer what he can for him, holding him tightly to him as he strokes along his back. ]

What do you need?

[ Because right now that is all that matters. He's home in case Nate needs anything. The animals are there and safe, and now to do whatever he can for Chris. ]

Come sit down and you can talk about whatever you need to. Okay?

[He nods and lets himself be lead over towards the couch.]

I think I just need...the people who matter? I just need to touch you and hear you, let my mind know you're here again so it feels less like a fog. I don't like waking up and realizing some of the most important people in my life were absent from my mind for a month or however long.

[As soon as he can, he wraps himself up in Caleb so his back is to his boyfriend's chest.]

I don't like having to remind myself of things that feel like yesterday and too many yesterdays ago. I just...when I first woke up, there was Jacob and then Jon and now you and I just don't think I...want to go back. Even if I can, even if I've a life to go back to, this is the one I'm choosing and I want to stay.

[His breath catches, but he breathes through it. That was way more than he'd intended to say but it was out there now.]

[ Caleb settles down on the couch, drawing Chris in closer to him. Offering physical comfort, needing to be close to him. Every coma is a reminder that there's other worlds waiting for them, and that one day they might not be here for one another.

So he offers what he can. Soft touches and the solid comfort of his form there holding Chris.

Yet those words, he feels them to the very marrow of his bones. It's an aching he feels often, a worry he holds like a tiny ember within, fighting not to let it be a fire that consume him. ]

I want the same. I just want to be with you and Nate and the lives we have.

And... we'll find a way. Something. I don't know what but we'll find something. Even if it's overthrowing the government and staying here, we'll find a way.

[ And he can imagine the answer he's going to get for that, the knowledge they all hold of how things are right now and the say they have in things. ]

I don't know how but we will.

[Chris gives a small nod and takes Caleb's hand so he can bring it up to kiss his palm.]

We will.

[He says it with cool certainty.]

I said it before, when I first showed up here with you, I've done this. I've laid in wait in the shadows, taking stock and keeping connections and watching for the time to strike. I've toppled a ruling power and taken over before, I'll do it again if it means keeping hold of those who wish to make new lives here. I waited five years back home, we're two down.

[ Caleb's silent for a minute, letting Chris talk. Listening to him speak with certainty, without hesitation and he can't help but smile as he leans in and kisses his temple. ]

Do you know how hot you are when you talk like that?

And I believe it. We'll find a way, Chris. I don't care where we go, its who I'm with and I'm not losing you. I'll miss the others, and I wish they could find a way to use magic but going back to that life...

[ He shakes his head, pressing in closer to Chris. ]

Never.

[He smiles softly for the kiss to his temple and relaxes entirely against Caleb as he curls closer.]

Good. Need to hear that now and again.

[He threads his foot back between Caleb's and hooks and ankle with his while he brings one of the younger man's fingers up to pop it into his mouth lazily for a moment. His tongue swirls around it and up to the tip as he pulls it free again.]

When I'm through using you as a blanket, maybe I should see how many fingers I can get inside you before you're begging. I've missed the feeling of you.

[ Every time the comas happen he fears they won't come back, even if he hasn't seen it often. Most wake up. He just doesn't want to think about life without Chris. ]

You're always hot but the badass in you is sexy as hell.

[ Groaning at that heat and teasing against his finger, especially when those words follow and he shifts. His body reacting to the words as he draws a sharp breath, his heart racing. ]

I think that's the best idea I've heard all day.

[He leans in, whispering softly, his voice rough with desire. ] Use me, Chris. I'm yours, after all. Make me beg for more until I'm a whimpering mess.

[He gives a pleased hum and a devilish smile cross unseen on his lips as he kisses Caleb's hand and then moves it up to press a kiss to his wrist, his teeth scraping across the thin skin there teasingly.]

As you say, love. You are mine...and I take care of what's mine.

[Carefully, Chris extricates himself from Caleb's hold and turns to help him sit up so he can get Caleb out of his clothes. Each article Chris makes to remove is followed by kisses and nips, teasing things meant to rile more than linger.]

When you're bare for me, have you stay here on the couch for your knees, legs spread and waiting for me.

I have every faith in that.

[ In that there is absolutely no doubt. He trusts Chris with everything, and certainly in assuring Caleb's pleasure. Just that brush of teeth is enough for that promise, and he knows he'll gladly do whatever it is that Chris wants.

He shifts and wriggles to help the material fall away from his body, though he can't help but chuckle. ]

I can help.

[ His fingers brush over his boxers and they unravel. ]

Seemed a useful bit of magic that Eliot showed me.

[ He grins at that, even as he moves to position himself as ordered. Kneeling on the couch, legs spread wide and lightly arching his back to present himself. ]

[Chris watches the neat trick of magic with a smile as he takes out his lube and begins applying it to his fingers.]

That is indeed a nifty little thing. Very useful.

[By the time Caleb's on the couch and spread for him, Chris has all of his fingers coated and he sets the tube somewhere within reach as he settles in behind his boyfriend.]

You always look soo good with your legs spread like this, love.

[He slips two fingers in from the start, working them slowly in and out of Caleb's body with a little twist as he goes in to coat his rim and walls. Chris leans in and kisses just above the curve of Caleb's ass.]

How wide have you been stretched? How much have you asked your body to take before?

[ Caleb has been lucky with those he's known in this city. Even with the bad, none of it outweighed the good. The magic. The people. Those he loved. Like Chris.

Chris who is beautiful and powerful and wickedly exciting in ways that left Caleb aching for more each and every time. ]

And always eager to present myself to you.

[ The words carry a rough groan, rocking slightly against Chris' touch. Those questions though draw a needy sound from him. ]

Nothing more then thickness of my lover's. Maybe it's time I find out how much I can take. If you want.

I definitely want. I think you'll surprise yourself.

[And if he discovers his limit, there's nothing wrong with that either. It'll be a fun exploration regardless.

He presses a third finger in, still nothing more than even his own cock could offer for now.

His other hand rests on Caleb's spine and strokes along his back.]

Have I told you recently how hot I think you are? You've perfect abs and a great ass and the ripples of your skin over your back leave me wanting to mark and bite you in a way I know I usually only get in the middle of things.

[He gives a very light tap to the curve of Caleb's ass.]

You're to tell me as soon as anything becomes painful or overwhelming in a bad way, understood, love?

[It's an interesting thought. For the lovers and the things he's had in this place, he truly never has thought about something like this and what he thinks about what it might mean. Like how much he can take, and how good it could feel when he finds that limit.

So he arches his back slightly, pressing his hips back and offering himself more so he can find out, and see how good it can be. ]

What stops you? What's stopping you now?

[ Even as he says it, Caleb realizes how much he wants it. ]

Mark me then. Here and now. Later. Permanent if you want. I'd love it.

[ Groaning at the thought, nodding though at that ]

Promise. If I don't like it, you'll know. I might like pain, but not for the sake of it.

[Chris gives a thoughtful hum and kisses Caleb's shoulder.]

I'm sure I will...right now, want to keep eye on you.

[Mostly for any of Caleb's tells, for whether Chris needed to slow down or change what they were doing. If he's busy marking Caleb up, he might miss something.]

Good, I trust you....with you and in general. Let's do a bit more.

[He gives Caleb another kiss as he shifts the angle of his wrist to pull out his hand, pour a bit more lube on it, and then press back in now with a fourth finger. He makes the slide smooth, slow, but steady as he works his fingers in and in and all the way up to that wide set of his knuckles. His eyes stay affixed to Caleb's expression as he works his hand only up to that point in and out of his boyfriend's body slowly, but determined.]

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