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You shouldn't and I will gladly do it.

I know it wouldn't be the same, but why couldn't we make our own equivalent? Magically at any rate.
Some kind of immersion spell to recreate it in a space we choose? Almost like dreamwalking, I guess?

Just a thought.

And I have an idea for the other as well.

Don't worry, I'll take care of you.

no i'm not asking for a party, i'm just

i like the dreamwalking idea though. maybe we could do that
have like a shared hallucination for a weekend or something

might be nice

I've read about things like it, in some of your books.
I read them a lot to try and learn more.

Just you and me, celebrating you.
No devices. No city.
Show me the world through your eyes, Nate.
The world we'll one day find separate from this world.

okay! yeah, that sounds really great actually

i love it.

show me the book you mean and we can both read up on it first
it's kind of like reverse astral projection, we could definitely swing that

I'll bring it to.
I love the idea.
I promise it's what our life will be one day. Whatever I have to do.

So lets explore it like this for now.

I get lost in your books sometime and the things you've taught me.
Lost in magic. I never want to give that up.
Or you.

neither do i

i'm determined that you won't have to. we don't have to lose this

so let's lean into it and just let magic take us away

I love it.
Thank you for letting me share your birthday with you like this.

I wonder if we could put a silencing charm or something on the devices.
Just to make sure even that doesn't interrupt us.

if we were deep enough we probably wouldn't hear them anyway

but we'd probably want to make sure someone was looking after the animals for us that weekend
who knows what else we wouldn't hear

Definitely. We know a few who would do that for us.
You think at the house? Because of the wards?

yeah, or the theatre. but the house is more private, and more ours

I would worry about the random creatures figuring out how to get to us.
Sneaking wonderful little things

If we do it at home, we could maybe find a way to make it part of things?
I know I'm thinking about pocket worlds and such that I've read about.
Wonder if could do the same with a dream world.

this is gonna be complicated. i love it

if we could do this once we could do it again, make a little escape for ourselves.

i really want it

Complicated magic is one of my favorite things.

I think it's perfect.
We are not the people to let this place hold us back.

no we're not

it'll feel like it's just us, like we're free

maybe we should take the animals to the theatre with the others, and ask chris nick & hermione to keep an eye on shifts

One day we will be, Nate.
I do believe that.
We'll find a way.

I think that's a good idea.
That way no one is coming through the house.

Just the two of us.

yeah.

okay

lets do it lets arrange everything.

after last month? i don't want parties i just want to feel like i'm not here for a minute

You know it is about whatever you need.
Or birthdays should be, I'm told.
I kinda stopped celebrating mine for the most part years ago.

Somedays here I think I'm back to wanting to acknowledge it.

So we'll great our own space.
And maybe work on making the house our sanctuary.
Because you have a place, and you've made a mark, Nate. I can name the people that would agree.

i had like, mixed feelings about it. cause like back home it would always be a thing, but it'd be a fancy hawthorne thing that i'd dread the older i got

so then i'd start sneaking out and celebrating with friends, sneaking into bars & clubs with fake IDs and getting hammered

but here? i didn't celebrate last year
this year idk

i used to want to stay here forever.
part of me still kind of does because i want to hold onto everyone who matters to me here
but i don't want to be HERE anymore
the longer we're trapped the longer i'm just
fucking chafing

I get that. The were a huge deal and a countdown and a sword hanging over our heads back home.
Then I killed a friend who was never a friend and lost my dad.
I would try celebrating with you, but there's other dates I would rather celebrate with you.

But I wish I could help you, Nate. About here, and how much its hurting you.
We'll find an answer so that you don't have to go back to Hawthorne things and you don't have to stay here.

I don't want to lose you.
I don't want to go back to a world where magic is baneful and killing me.
But we'll find a way for you. Promise.
There has to be something.

i don't want you to go back to your world either. i don't want that curse to take you
and i know you left so much grief there.

i'm worried that my curse is here
i'm afraid of dying again
i almost did. if it hadn't been for that necklace from chris
that's the second time it saved me so if i hadn't got it i would've died 3 times already

i'm afraid that this place won't stop until i die again
maybe next time it won't let me come back
and the thing is i'm not even sure if that would be better or worse

Well fuck this place. We're not letting that happen.

And if that means charms and necklaces and whatever we have to do, we'll do it.
I'll wrap you in magical bubblewrap and sit on you.

Because that would be worse, Nate. It would be awful and painful and I know one day you might vanish but don't you dare go making it easy on them!

Please.

yeah
that's what i keep telling myself
don't make it easy
put more weapons on myself. more armour. make it so that it's harder next time

i haven't been out as warlock since before it happened
feel fucking stupid about it too.

i really just want someone to tell me it'll be ok even though i know it won't, but i can't let anyone know that because
well what difference is it gonna make tbh
being ok is the only thing that makes sense
but i'm not

then get me suited up like we once talked about and lets go.
Or give me a kiss and say you'll be back.

You're the one that taught me I can't be afraid of this place.
You showed me how to face their bs and the dangers and be strong.
I spent my life in fear of dying, Nate. Trust me when I tell you it's not the way to be.

Then don't be okay.
You don't have to be!
You just have to let those of us that love you help.
Let us be there for you, help you get through this.

Because you're not alone, and you never have to be okay.
You just have to be you and we'll work out the rest.

you're right.
no, i know you are
it doesn't do any good to lie under it. that's why i started doing this in the first place

and im not alone.
you come with me and i'll get back out there.

i want to get past this
don't think i don't

Then we'll get there.

Guess I need a suit the, don't I?
And maybe a means of covering up what I do, such as the telekinesis.
I have an idea on it.

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