ipswichson | Contact

Hey
Look, I know we didn't talk much
And if you don't want to talk now, I get it. I just want to make sure you're okay.

Hey. I guess you heard. I'm okay. Don't think I don't care about him but I think we needed distance.

I really appreciate you reaching out. I think between our schedules we never got much time to talk but I'd like to. If you ever want to.

How about letting me know you're someplace safe, first? This isn't a great place for a submissive to be alone.

I've got a few friends I'm going to crash with enough to not spend time in housing.

Okay. That's good

Look, I'm not gonna pretend to know what happened. I know you guys were pretty new
You sure this can't be fixed?

Two months ago I wanted out of that Down over someone across the hall. I wish he was there now.

I don't think it would be good for either of us. Like maybe it's too much and it was hurting us both. I don't want to hurt him but I can't be someone I'm not.

I get that. I don't want you to be something you're not.

I don't know what went on between you guys, but look
You need anything, you have my number.

This place tries to railroad us all. I think it's for the best that we do what we can for ourselves.

Which sounds preachy and lame. Sorry.

I want to keep in touch. If that's okay with you. If not, that's cool.

Dude I'm not gonna cut you off just because you dated my brother for a week and it didn't work out
We lived together, I think we can stand to keep in touch

Tell me, if you need anything. You know what you're gonna do about a contract now?

Good. I'm glad. I don't want to lose too many here if I can avoid it.

No, not a clue. Hell, I'm back in the Down housing and planning to crash with friends a few times a week. I may not make one. I did what I was supposed to and gave into it a contract and not interested in rushing back into that.

Are you busy right now?

[ Just like they have interacted far more than they have, as opposed to Alaric deciding he wants to interact more. ]

Nope. Just got off work. What's up?

We haven't spoken in... too long. Do you want dinner somewhere?

Way too long. I kinda let life here get away from me.

Definitely. I'd love that.

As did I. Where are you? I'll meet you, and we can take it from there.

In the Down at the Midnight Theatre. Just got done doing some stuff for work.

I'm on my way.

[ And he is. He's there as quickly from the Up as he can be, dressed as always in a green buttondown and black slacks, collar on even in the down and hair back. He smiles, faintly, when he spots Caleb. ]

I owe you an apology.

[It hadn't been a performance night, but he's been working on his skills in hopes of helping out more for Nate. He needs the work, and he needs to keep busy while he's working out in his head all he's been through and what he had let happen.

Looking up when he hears steps, smiling as he raises his hand in greeting. The smile fades though, head cocking to one side, confused.]

You do? Why?

[ Caleb's smile fading isn't ideal, but as it's just confusion Alaric just shakes his head a little and keeps his smile. ]

I meant to keep in touch. As you said - life got away from me - but it seems terribly rude after being locked in a room with you for sex.

Oh. Oh, no. You don't have to apologize for that. I...

[He pauses, considering how to explain things. He didn't want the other man feeling he'd done something wrong.]

Honestly, after that I kind of withdrew from people because of how upset someone I care about got. Besides, we were locked in a room and decided to have sex.

[He grins, shrugging slightly and giving him a bit of a shy look.] I would have had sex with you without the locked room.

[ He laughs, a little.]

I would have too, that is why it felt so impossibly rude. It has just been... chaotic. Let's find somewhere to eat, and catch up. Is your friend better now? What kind of work are you doing here?

I didn't think it was rude. Not in the least.

[Not when it was Alaric. His smile waivers and he shakes his head.]

Actually we just recently broke up. A bit of this place and looking at the world different ways. Actually I'm working with the theatre with their magic program, and I'm considering finding another job. Especially while I'm working on finding another dominant.

But let's find somewhere to eat and talk about it all.

[ He tends toward being pretty quiet and this isn't an exception - he will open up and talk some more once they find a place to go and settle in to eat - but for the search itself, the ordering a drink and something to eat, he's just pretty quiet.

But then they have a table that's more than a little secluded, with drinks in front of them and food on the way. ]

I'm sorry about the break up. You seem... relatively okay? [ Yes, that is a question ] about it.

[Caleb hasn't talked about it much since he'd left the place he'd thought for a time might become his home in this place. It's definitely a risk in this place to throw himself out on the streets, to take the chance that he'll end up in jail but it was one he had to take.

So when they're seated, toying with things though he's glad for the meal. More than that, glad for the money he'd saved in the couple of months so that he's not entirely stuck in the Down and what's given to them.

He makes a face at that, nodding though.]

It's for the best? Which sounds lame but it's true. We wanted different things from one another, and I hope they find the right person for them.

How have you been? Is everything okay?

[ Oh dear Lord, that is a difficult question to answer. Yes, he is okay and has been fine, but- ]

I contracted with Anders as did Alec, then his significant other arrived and was also contracted by Anders. We've moved from public housing recently. Someone from my future arrived, brought terrible news, struggled badly and then left again.

I am fine, but it has been... chaotic.

[ And that's leaving out all of it the Duplicity related nonsense.

Alaric is, however, going to pick up that tab without a word of intention to do so. Between he, Anders, and Hawke all working multiple jobs-- Even with the house they are all right. ]

[Caleb is attentive, glad to hear about what has happened for Alaric since they met and since they last saw one another. Glad to hear things sound good, though when he speaks about this person from home coming here and then vanishing, he makes a face.

Frowning heavily as he shakes his head.]

I had kind of the same thing happen. Someone I knew from home was here for a couple of months and then one night they vanished. I worry because of things that changed him here and worrying how they changed him back home as well.

[He pauses and then asks softly.]

How bad was the news from home?

[ He smiles, wryly. ]

Kelson's lack of adjustment to being here, I hope, will prevent him being much changed when he returns home. He is so far from my future, though, I cannot begin to grasp what repercussions would be.

I'm simply glad he is no longer here, and miserable.

[ He toys with his glass, considering the harder question and drinks from it before he answers, then shrugs.]

Someone I was supposed to protect and... close to was killed.

[He looks upset, worried about what that could mean. It didn't effect his life that much but for Alaric it could be something else entirely and he couldn't imagine having to live with that knowledge. ]

I'm sorry you're here and not with him, back in your life.

[He knows some want to stay here, but there's so much he can't understand about that and he can only imagine wanting out of here, even if not for their own home.

His expression drops.]

I am so sorry, Alaric. That's awful. Maybe knowing that, when you get back, you can fix it.

I hope so. I wish I'd gotten more detail.

[ He doesn't shrug so much as twitches, but it's not dismissive so much as determination to move on. ]

Either way I am not unhappy, here, overall, just frequently confused and overwhelmed. The freedom with magic and people have been nice.

Now what happened with your... significant other?

[Despite himself, Caleb can't help but smile a bit.]

It is the one thing about this place that is amazing. People know I'm a witch, and I use in front of others. It's so new and so odd.

It really is the one thing I would hate to give up.

[He falls quiet, considering how to explain it without too much, without sounding horrible or angry about it. He just couldn't keep handling it, that's all.]

We wanted different things. He expected things from me that I wasn't comfortable giving to him. I need to be myself and not feel like property to someone else. I know this place says I am but certain expectations were just not part of it.

[ His expression turns from interested and mild to quietly horrified to concerned before returning to something largely neutral. ]

I'm sorry, Caleb. It shouldn't have had to come to that. You aren't property, no matter what the city has to say.

Are you- [ Nope, no way to ask those questions gracefully. He stops and tries again. ]

What do you need?

[Caleb sighs, sitting back as he nods]

Thank you for that. I think the worst part was when someone else drew away from me because I was my dominant's and it wasn't right to do what I wanted because they might not like it. That was hardest.

[He shakes his head.]

Close second was coping with anger for that hotel we got stuck in. Not that I planned on giving up my friends and lovers, but that... [He sighs.] I was just best I walked away.

A spot on the floor to crash from time to time if you have a spot. I'm not staying any one place twice in two weeks so I don't get anyone in trouble, but once I'm in the up I like staying there as long as I can so I don't have to fight the guards to get back.

You are not sleeping on the floor. We're all in a private house on the beach. You are welcome to my bed, either of the... couch like things, or the couch. You are also welcome to the food or anything else you need.

Where are you for quota?

[There are other things there that worry him - emotional ones - but getting things done on a practical level is more important to him in this moment. ]

[Despite some of their conversation, Caleb can't help but smile at that.]

Well, in fairness, I definitely don't mind sharing the bed. I can play nice.

[It's an easier talk though and it makes him feel more relaxed after talking about what had gone on.

Though he pauses at that, considering. He hadn't really had to worry about it, hadn't put thought into it but now he's wondering because he hasn't thought about it.]

I hadn't thought about it? Stupid I know but I haven't had to think about it before now. I think I'm okay?

[He chuckles slightly. ]

When things started getting like that I kind of got defiant and was definitely throwing myself at those I like. You're very lucky I haven't tonight.

[Then he's definitely grinning, relaxing more.]

You can behave yourself or not in my bed, as the mood strikes you, but I bite.

[ There's a flash of an easy grin at that, just for a moment. Caleb relaxing makes him feel better, though he knows he's still going to have to worry about Caleb staying safe and getting a contract that works.

Caleb is one of his, darn it, and if Alaric is nothing else he is loyal to the point of insanity. ]

I'll take comfort in those you like - both because it means it isn't self destructive and that it means you like me, but please, please be careful. Throwing yourself at people here sounds... dangerous.

I said play nice, not that I would behave. [This is things he's missed and needed more than he realized until this moment.] And I like biting.

[This is how things should feel and how they should have been all along.

And that care for him means more than he's sure he has words for. The teasing light fades, but only to something more fond as he stares at Alaric for a moment, just touched by his concern.]

I can't promise I've been as careful as I should be but I'll work on it. I can't argue that you're right and I've probably taken some risks. With my powers. With myself. I really... what happened hurt, and I've never been hurt like that before.

[ He makes a low noise but waits until food has been dropped off before he says anything else. Because there's a lot he wants to - or maybe it's just a lot of feeling? Either way. ]

I've spent most of my life in service to one man - or the position the man was in, I really am not sure. There are points I've felt more like a... trained attack dog than a person, but it was always my role and it fit within that.

I can only imagine the hurt of trusting someone enough to choose to be with them and being treated like a... possession.

Reckless in response to that makes sense to me, and you're certainly intelligent enough to... be aware and compensate now.

[Caleb is quiet as the food is set before them, knowing he's been working around restaurants depending on his mood. It's not that he doesn't have the money but that he gets tired of dealing with the clerks that won't let him buy things. He has no letter, no collar, no contract.

So he's fought with some, and learned the places that will give submissives less grief than others do. This though is nice, both the company and not having to worry about things as much as he has some days.

So he's quiet, listening, thinking about what someone he'd thought was a friend said to him, as well as what the person he cared about had said. It's odd and he isn't sure how to reconcile it, but he's working on it. Or so he likes to think.]

Is it a role you wanted? I know here we don't get choice in a lot of it but back home did you?

[He really hopes Alaric did, knowing that he deserved it.]

[ Alaric is surprised sometimes by how suffocating he finds being a submissive in Duplicity. He would have expected, based on what he's already told Caleb about his life and what he's going to, not to be bothered at all.

Turns out, he's accounted badly for both the way he served previously - and the fact that he had a certain amount of power, even if he was not well liked or trusted. This is getting old. Sometimes even people caring about and trying to protect him is too much just in how it is presented.

And that's with loving people he sincerely, deeply, cares about.

He smiles, tightly, at Caleb as though aware of the direction of caleb's thoughts (he is but only because he can guess), and picks up his fork. ]

At home it was... not about this sort of service or status. I was too young to remember when I was committed to act in magical service to the future king. When he became king and my father died, I moved into the castle, as a page. Then a knight. Ultimately as a Duke in full and general, but also as the key to unlock his own brand of magic and to protect him. I loved and love him. But there was never an option of not being deeply bound to him.

[Caleb knows that so much of this is culture shock. He's lived a life where he was privileged and the golden boy and he had been the leader and now he's a submissive, marked, and has already been told by that he was nothing but property. He's fighting it all tooth and nail, because he hasn't known any other answer but to try.

He's curious though about how others are handling it. Especially those he cares about, who are important to him, and for now he's just happy to see most of them doing so well. Their contracts are working for them and they seem to be doing well and that is what matters the most to him. He can cope with how bad things are on his side as long as they're okay.]

How young were you? You never had a say in that?

[Yet even as he asks, he thinks about how the moment Pogue had been born, Caleb had been told how he had to take care of him. Then the others. He had been told from the moment he was born they were born that it was his job to care for them, to keep them safe, to make sure they didn't die young. Was it any different? His money and status made him feel he was in a different place, but had he really been?]

I'm sorry, Alaric. You should have had more choice in your life than that. Your life here? Do you at least have as much say in things as this place lets you have?

[It's not as if he could change it but he would do whatever he could to fight for him if he could.]

[ He smiles slightly, tucks his hair behind his ears and then picks up his fork. ]

Three, I think, and don't be sorry; It isn't something that I actually have a problem with. I like, even love, Brion. He's been like family to me, and as for things here - I think I have more choice than most here, submissive or not.

[ He starts eating with a slightly pointed look, hoping that Caleb will do the same because he worries. ]

With Kelson gone it's... better. There is worrying about friends and concern about your sexually repressed, very Catholic, king.

[Caleb stares at him for the longest time because there's so much echoed there. He remembers being responsible for the others since he was old enough to remember. Three? Four? He has no idea but it was all his life.

He takes the hint though and starts eating. It's not that he doesn't have money for food, but that he tends to forget taking time to eat.

He chuckles softly at that last part though.]

Yeah, okay. That is different than you thinking I'm someone to worry about. And don't pretend you don't.

[He gestures at him with his fork between bites.]

I try to imagine the ones I had to be responsible for being in this place. They would be a mess. No, they would make a mess. Of everything.

[Yet he sounds so happy about it, so proud of them even as he misses them.]

[ He flashes a quick smile at the remark from Caleb about those he was responsible for -- or at least the tone it is said in. ]

I don't imagine I should much like to see someone here who would not make something of a mess in some ways. Making a mess of things I can almost approve of, done creatively or cleverly. Making a mess of themselves--

You're right, that is different.

[ Caleb was the former, mostly, Kelson the later. ]

[Caleb had lost sight of himself and what he wanted for a time. He'd let himself forget what he needed and instead tried to be who someone else wanted, and he's glad to be back to working on himself again.

And part of that is this. Time spent with those that matter to him, those that make him smile, and who he can just be himself with.]

What we're doing most of the time, right? Making a mess of their program. I couldn't imagine doing this any other way. Which is funny because I was never that guy before.

I should have been though. I would go back and redo so much about how we handle our powers and the covenant given the chance.

[In ways it feels no different. Being controlled and hiding parts of yourself. Especially if your nature doesn't match your designation.]

I don't understand, but I want to. Tell me how you did things - the program - and handled your powers, and what you would do differently.

[ He is so comfortable with Caleb that it feels strange to realize that he knows almost nothing. It feels less strange to realize how much he wants to. ]

[Caleb knows he is whining in a way because it can't be changed, even if he finds his way back to Ipswich.]

We were raised from when we were young being told we would have these powers but couldn't use them, how they would kill us. I wanted them but at the same time, I hated them. We lost a lot because of them, but I just played along and didn't try and find other ways around it.

[There's a lot more to it, details about what they hadn't done and what they should have done.]

Because of it I never looked deep into our history. Because of it another of us ended up with no help, and addicted. We could have changed a lot if we hadn't just accepted things as they were.

Why I'm glad so many here don't. We fight against the system, look into it all and we're here for one another.

[ He smiles in a slight way that's a bit sad and, truthfully, too old for his face. ]

I am still... incredibly uncomfortable here, and my magic - and mine alone - was never hidden, but rather put on display. I never hated it, but was taught from very young what a profound and dangerous responsibility it was.

My King... he hated himself and his abilities. I think he was convinced that he was going to hell - quite literally - for it. He pushed against the church, but he never quite believed it. It seems his son has done more to actively change things.

I'm not quite sure I like it, though I should.

And maybe I'm a little too comfortable with the system here, too. That, though, is much more easily changed.

Why only yours? If you're okay talking about it.

[It's only been a few months and he's gotten so open about talking magic and his abilities, but he can imagine that no matter how long someone is in this place and it might not be easy to talk about it.

He wants to learn more though about his friends and to be there for them as much as he can.]

Why should you like it? If you don't, that's what matters.

[He pauses for a moment, knowing some might not like what he's going to admit.]

I don't want to stay here forever, but I hate the idea of the things I'll lose without this place. Being free and open about magic.

And the people. Like you.

I was magically bound to Brion as a young child, and the knowledge of how to unlock the Halden potential - his sort of magic - was given to me then. Why me is....

The simple answer is that my family was nobility and openly Deryni, already.

[ The more complicated answer involved speculation as to just why his eyes were a shade often called 'Haldane gray', but that was not something he was--

Not going into right now.

he stops for a moment and eats some of his food and takes a drink from his glass. ]

I should like it because if there is no change things continue to be terrible for Deryni. It needs to change. Changing and challenging it are right.

[ Then a smile. ] I'd miss you too, Caleb.

You and I? In ways we are the same in some of this. I mean generally.

[He had been bound by the Covenant, and he had been the one to have to ensure the others were raised well and they're well taken care of. It had been his job and he can't only now wonder that if he's actually in this place, what had become of them without him.

Maybe it was for the best for them and Caleb to be apart for a while.]

But you're not happy about it? Were they not handling it right?

[It's the one reason he could think of that he might not stand by it.]

It...

[ He pauses, hands curled around his glass and considers, trying to work out feelings and find words. ]

I don't know how he is handling it, in truth. He was from my future. I think I don't like it because it is dangerous to him.

And ultimately I am willing to sacrifice more to protect him and the throne than to sacrifice them to anything else. I don't like that about myself, but that doesn't negate the truth of it.

[Again those ways that they're similar, even if for Alaric it is on a much grander scale. For Caleb it's protecting the lives of three friends. For his friend before him, it is about the throne and a kingdom as well.

Reaching across he curls his hand against his friend's where it rests on his glass.]

A lot of people believe we go back to our own worlds when we leave here. We go back to the same moment we left so you'll be able to help him.

Yes, and I will have years to do so. He was six the last time I saw him.
[ Will he be able to also help Brion? Kelson's father? Apparently not, but that is something he'll have to live with. To channel into helping the son. Until then:] Do you need somewhere to sleep tonight?

Oh. Oh wow, that had to be rough then. I hope you get the chance.

[Though Caleb knows that likely isn't offering much in the way of helping.

He smiles at that though. He could crash at the theatre but that isn't the point that matters to him right now.]

I wouldn't mind spending more time with you.

[ He is as easy as can be about this and returns Caleb's smile with one of his own, a little brighter and more relieved than necessarily makes sense. ]

Then let's finish up here and come home with me for tonight. I like your company, too.

[ Making friends is really not easy for him. He cherishes when he manages - and the people who put up with his too often, too formal and too aloof self. ]

I'm glad to hear that. It would kind of suck to care about you like I do and find out that it's all one sided.

[He smiles though as he says it, a soft and thoughtful thing as he works on finishing.]

And thank you for your patience with me. I really needed to get my head on straight in this place. I'm glad I didn't lose everyone doing that.

[ From most people that sort of statement might be a little alarming, but from Caleb it's just matter of fact and sweet and he finds he is absolutely fine with it. ]

I am unbelievably hard to lose. I never let go of who is mine - ever.

[That only gets a brighter smile from Caleb, giving a nod in acknowledgment of that. He likes how it sounds, as much as he likes having the same sort of feelings for others.

He's spent his entire life with the same family, friends, lovers. Pretty much all in one from how they were raised together. He finds himself doing the same here with those he feels a connection to.]

Good then. Guess we're stuck with one another. I'm glad for that.

[He's so bad at this. He's so bad at reaching out, especially when it's his fault he stepped on a friendship. He's so bad at friendships. Still, Caleb was a good man, one of the first he knew here, and the last thing he deserved was Chris vanishing on him because of his own issues.

So he reaches out the only way he knows how to start: abruptly and without so much as a 'hello.']

You know the tall warehouse near the Down public housing? S'got a fence around it. Meet me around the back of it some night soon. I'm available tonight, if you are.

[Caleb knows when his life in Duplicity had changed. He had been so excited for his friends, for the magic, for the chances he had here even if he missed his friends. The day he had been hurt emotionally for his friendships, for those he had slept with, and shamed for doing what he had to when this place attacks them from every front. He had watched a door destroyed, seen the anger directed at him for the same things the other person was doing, and he had reacted to the feelings he had for the person, and not protecting himself.

He'd always done for others first.

It had been a mistake and he had hurt himself and let another be hurt when he walked out but it had been for the best. He had to get a new starter, and get back to those he'd worried about seeing for their own sake.

His friendship with Chris had started spur of the moment, with danger and flaunting the rules. It should never be any other way, really.]

What time? Are we talking the witching hour? lol

[He could almost breathe a sigh of relief. Not a bridge burned, then, just left to gather dust. Maybe he could put things right again. Well, at least try.

The response made him smile, though he had no idea what 'lol' meant.]

Sure. Sounds appropriate for us.

You got a preference for alcohol?

Will we be running from guards again too?

[It's not stopping him from going either. He wants to. To get out. To maybe practice magic. To be himself and embrace that and not feel he has to second guess what he's doing or who he's with.]

I don't drink a lot. Beers fine. Wine even.

Only if we're lucky.

[Not if they were good, but they'd see. He shrugged to himself and headed that way, resolving to pick up whatever looked good and go with it.]

I'll get us something. See you soon?

All of Nate’s gifts are delivered via a fluttering origami bird, which flies directly to the recipient and puts the gift into their hands. Once it’s given, the bird will unfold into a note, which explains what the charm inside will do, and how to activate it. When the note has been read, it will explode into a miniature display of multi-coloured fireworks, which spell out “Yuletide wishes from Nate!” and then vanish.

Caleb receives a stud for his other nipple (with a promise to pierce it for him). It’s enchanted for sexual pleasure, and will have a different effect every time it’s activated, depending on what kink Caleb’s most interested in at that moment. Also, a cuff charm for his ear, enchanted to put a magical shield around him. It has no on/off switch, but activates when he’s in danger.

On Christmas Eve, the Theatre will also be full of homemade Yuletide food and drink, for everyone who works there to enjoy.

[Ella leaves several brightly wrapped Christmas presents and a box of cookies on Caleb's doorstep /some place he'd find them with the following card.]

[Either left at their home or given in person, Chris leaves a present for the few people he's connected with.

A small package tied with a raven card as signature, along with the gift itself is a small note and a plain black votive candle.]

City's got some other holiday on, but back home it's about time for Candleglow. You exchange presents to share in the year's wealth with people who you hope have wealth in the coming year. It's also a ceremony where everyone in the Moonsea lights a candle at the turn of the year and either sits with their loved ones until it burns out or sets it to sail in the Moonsea all around the shores.

I'll be at the beach at midnight when the year turns, you're welcome to come burn it with me or set sail in the tidepool or just keep it for yourself. No pressure or judgement either way.

Keep an eye on yourself. I've got your back.

-C.S.

[Caleb's present is a hand-sized switchblade whose blade edge glows a faint purple light, the only indication it's been enchanted. An extra note simply says 'For protection.']

Edited (LOL YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT) 2020-12-27 05:56 (UTC)

Need to ask you about something.

Home related. Sort of.

Complicated

You can ask me anything.

Do you want to text or would you rather do this in person?

I don't know.

It's personal and I'm already shite at talking about things so I

What do you think?

I would pick face to face though so I can be there for you. So I can meet you anywhere that works.

If it's easier to talk about it without being face to face, then we can text.

Face to face is fine.

How about um. There's that sweets shop near the Theatre. There. They've got fancy drinks too.

[Alcohol might make this easier, but it probably wasn't the best idea either.]

I know the place. I'm at the theatre so can be there in like five.

Hey handsome, you have a couple of minutes, I wanted to ask you something.

For you? Always. Where you at?

At the apartment. But if you're still at the theater I can swing by with food?

Awww, you spoil me. I am and that would be great.

I guess the talk isn't just a ruse to get me alone and naked, huh? ;)

Well, we started out spoiling you, can't slack off now. What do you feel like?

And a very attractive tour guide showed me a few little nooks and crannies we could try out since it's not a ruse but it's a worthy side goal.

Nothing heavy. I'm so falling out of shape.

There's a place near the elevators to the down that does amazing massive salads. I would love that.

Having fun, are you? I'm definitely all for a new tour.

Caleb, as someone who has licked your abs, I can say with authority that you're definitely in shape.

But salad it is. Greek, Cobb, Caesar, or other?

I meant when you were my tour guide, my overly modest friend. I spotted at least a few spots we could try to sneak away to.

Sorry I'm distracted now, what were we talking about?

Greek. That sounds perfect.

So coming to see me for a quickie at work, huh? I could get used to that.

Your abs, and how well shaped they are for my tongue.

Greek it is, I'll be there in about a half an hour.

And I did want an actual conversation but the quickie would be a definite bonus.

[True to his word, Eliot strolls into the theater a half an hour later with Caleb's salad, along with a sandwich for himself and a couple of bottles of lemonade. He calls out a few greetings as he walks in and finds Caleb, kissing him hello and dangling the bag in front of him.] I come bearing sustenance.

I'll try and remember to keep my shirt on.

[Which is a hard thing not to think about while he's waiting for Eliot. Though, when he does arrive, Caleb has managed to keep his shirt on.

Kind of a disappointment for Caleb as well.

Grinning, he kisses Eliot even as he takes the bag. ]

My hero. Not that I haven't had food today but still.

Eliot sinks down to sit next to him, leaning back on his hands and smiling.] Don't think I'm not disappointed about the shirt. And I know you ate, but you probably didn't eat enough. so consider this a supplemental round. You get busy when you're flitting around here.

[Eliot asks Caleb what he's working on today and shows him a few pictures in his phone of outfits he'd seen around that had given him costuming ideas. Given it's a tie, he's mostly settled on trying to put on Chicago at this point and just paring down the dance choreography for all but a few of the numbers.

He waits for Caleb to settle and start eating and then brings up what he wanted to talk to him about.] So, you've met Francis Barton, right? Cute blond, nice shoulders, sweet? How do you like him?

[There's something about Eliot bringing him lunch, sitting with him and talking that Caleb really likes. It's friendly and sweet and he is glad for the connection they made that got them to this point.

Though when he brings up Francis, Caleb stops almost midbite. He finally finishes taking the bite and swallowing, picking up his water for a drink before he nods.]

Yeah, I know Francis. Uhmmmm...

[He knows they're both very open about this relationship, and he's glad for that. He knows how Eliot feels about Quinten and Eliot knows how Caleb feels about Nate. Yet they hadn't talked about Francis, and he worries there's a problem now.]

We're... fairly close, actually. That isn't a problem, is it?

[Eliot laughs, and leans over, giving Caleb a small, sweet kiss before reassuring him.] The opposite of a problem, actually. He and I met at that Christmas party I saw you at. After we fooled around, he was asking on the network about some things and it led to us talking. His contract is name-only, but he was looking for someone who would be more of a dom to him ... in the sense of giving him direction and reinforcement and fun, not what Duplicity necessarily thinks it is. So I told him I would. He was ... new to it all, and I didn't like him getting overwhelmed or taken advantage of. It reminded me a little too much of when I first got introduced to anything like a scene and was basically farm-fresh and clueless.

[Eliot sat back, leaning back on his hands.] But he's sweet, and I like him. And he asked me if I'd want to take him on as a Sub when his contract is up. I said I'd have to talk to you ... and then he was very adamant that I had to make sure you knew it was okay to say no, and that he wouldn't mind. [Eliot grins at Caleb.] I got the impression that you may have left an impression on him. He seems to like you. And I think you and I could take good care of him, and show him a good time. If you're interested. If not though, I know a couple other people who seem like they might be good options for him.

[Caleb smiles at that.]

We met at the mistletoe. It was definitely a lot more than a kiss, and so much better.

[He can't help the soft smile he gives, thinking about how things had started with them. It's crazy to think what a short time ago that was, but then time in Duplicity seems to run madly over weeks when it feels like years.

He's quiet, listening to what Eliot says, though he shifts and looks more than a bit uncertain. Not from what he's saying about Francis exactly but about things he's feeling.]

How would you feel about it if others also dominate him? Not in the Duplicity sense, but in a much more intimate way? Is that going to be a problem?

[It's all so new to Caleb and he has no idea the etiquette or how things are done. He just knows how he feels.

Even as he makes a face.]

I like him a lot. I don't know why he's worried about that though. About how I would feel. Of course I want him close and safe. The last it what matters the most, and I don't like the idea of him out there where some asshole will take advantage of his needs.

[His expression darkens just thinking about it, pausing to take a breath and try and calm himself. ]

Eliot, I'm more than interested. We've had some time together, beside the mistletoe, and no I don't want him off with just anyone in this place. I don't trust just anyone. I trust you.

So a Christmas gift for both of us then. [Eliot winks at him. He takes in that soft smile and smiles back.] I'm fine with it as long as he is. He has a friend who he asked for help from the way he did me, and he's curious. So if he wants to look for experiences outside of you or me, I don't have a problem with it. If it's possible I'd want him to check in with one of us, just so we know where he is and can keep tabs a little. He's smart, but he's very willing, and very sweet - I want to keep that part of him from getting taken advantage of. Would it bother YOU? [Eliot turns the question around with a little nudge to Caleb's ankle and leans over to drop a kiss to his the curve of his neck.] It's all right if it does.

He's worried because he likes you, and he's worried about coming between you and me, or stepping on your toes, probably. But I think he'd be an asset. Watching you play with him would be fun for me, and all three of us at once has a lot of possibilities. But there's ways to keep him safe that don't involve him signing up with me, so he wants to make sure you know those options. He's a good kid. [Eliot wrinkles his nose.] It's possible I'm cradle robbing here.

[He reaches over to hook two fingers into Caleb's shirt and tug him closer to kiss.] But if you're sure, and I'm sure, then he seems sure, and I think it could work for all three of us. Maybe do dinner for the three of us this week, see how it goes?

No, I mean...

[He takes a breath, hoping this isn't going to cause problems but he wants to be clear with Eliot from the start. He feels close to Eliot and he never wants there to be problems between them.

He leans in, returning that kiss before he rushes on, getting the words out before he stops himself. He just wants to make this right.]

I meant me doing it though I know he has others in his life. We've talked about that a bit. Like you. We've shared some very intimate moments, beyond sex. He's... He's kinda mine. Maybe? Could be?

[He winces even as he says it because this place doesn't let that be and Eliot might not like it and he doesn't want to screw this up for Francis because Eliot would be so good for him.]

Well, I think one day I might ask him to wear something for me, us.

[He sighs.]

Wow, I feel like an idiot, and like I'm in high school again, but with way more stakes.

I don't do monogamy. You know that from the bells. But some people are more important to me than others. Like loving Nate. Like how I care about you, and Francis.

I'm sure, but I need to know that isn't going to be a problem, and I'll talk to him too. I don't want him thinking I'm cutting him off from others, or that I want that. I just... Dinner. That would be good.

[Eliot's head tips as he listens, and he makes a little soft sound of reassurance.] Caleb. [His voice is quiet and full of affection.] You're not an idiot. This place turns things upside down and inside out. If you feel that way about him, and he feels that way about you, then it's a good thing. And if you want him to wear something for you, then you should ask him.

[Eliot tips his chin up a second, looking up at the ceiling.] You're still young, and you know I'm technically older than I look. So you don't know what you do or don't do until you get there and find that something changes. Or maybe it won't. I've never figured I had a monogamous bone in my body, but for a while, that was all I wanted.

This place just doesn't give you the option to figure it out on your own with Francis. So this is probably the best way to do that. But, Caleb-

[Eliot sits up again and catches his fingers beneath Caleb's chin, turning him to look at Eliot.] We signed the contracts, we know where the city thinks we stand. But between us? If the two of you have something, and you need it to be just you - then tell me. I'll just be the name on the paper who sleeps in the room next door, and you two can take care of each other if that's what you want. And if not, then the three of us can figure it out together, all right? [Eliot leans in to give him a soft kiss.] We can start with dinner, and go from there.

It's not to that point yet. I don't think. I'm not even sure what I am thinking. I've loved others, and I've been in love here that I've been sure of for over a month.

[He can't say when he fell in love with Nate, or when Nate loved him. It's just always been them being honest that they do. Maybe it started that night of the bite, when he'd been driven to seek out those he cared about and he had found Nate.

He's quiet a moment, knowing he shouldn't ask about it but he can't stop himself.]

Would you be monogamous again for him? I mean, if that's what you want, you should try and make it happen, Eliot. For both of you.

I know I wouldn't be. Not for Francis. Not for Nate. And not because I just named two people.

[He says the last with a small laugh.

He stares into Eliot's eyes and immediately gives the tiniest twist of his head, not pulling away but saying no with that shake.]

No, not like that. I want to be with you. I want you and him to have good times and be close. This isn't me asking for that, because it's not who I am. I'm greedy like that.

[He says it with a smile.]

I think I worried you would want that with him, and that it would cause a problem for you if he and I have that kind of a relationship. But you are not a name on paper. I knew that when we contracted and when the bell wore off, I think we both knew it. Don't we? We're friends and lovers and in this together.

You don't have to rush to figure it out, either. You can just like him and like the idea of where it goes.

[The question catches Eliot off guard and his smile fades, and he looks away, thoughtful, but that touch of melancholy that only Caleb saw in him now, most of the time, and it's quiet when he finally answers.] I don't know. It's complicated. Quentin has a big heart, and he loves me. But it took a year of us with no other options for him to want more than to be friends, where I was enamored more or less the day I met him, even if I didn't do anything about it. And I put the brakes on, because that's usually what I do, but it didn't take him long to find a pretty lady to fall for too. If she'd asked, I think he would have made it just the two of them. And if I thought it'd make them happy, I'd have let them. But she never asked, and then she died. So it was just us and Teddy. We never talked about it, we just kept going.

If he asked, I'd say yes, because I can't say no to Q about anything that matters. But he needed more than me, and he didn't come to me until there wasn't any other option. Here, there's other options everywhere. I don't need it to be just us - and it's a moot point here, given it's illegal. But I don't think without that time with no one else there, I'd ever be his first choice. So part of me wouldn't want to try to be each other's only anything, because I don't want to find out for sure I couldn't be enough to keep him happy. I'd rather keep a touch of mystery to it. [Eliot smiles ruefully.] If that makes any sense at all, I have no idea.

[He reaches to squeeze Caleb's wrist lightly.] It's not greedy. But I'm happy to hear it. And yes. In this together, friends, lovers, most likely partners in crime at some point. So lets take in a very pretty blond together. And if once in a while you want a night alone with him, then I'll go make some trouble with Margo or Q.

[Caleb sighs, shifting in closer to Eliot just because of that look in his eyes. It takes everything in Caleb not to do something to bring them back together, to try and get Eliot to talk to Quentin. He can't believe there's a way this other man couldn't look at Eliot who obviously loves him so much and not want to love him back.

Yet Caleb knows that because he's been in his mind. He has seen that love. Would he have known that without the bells?]

I'm going to say something, and this is definitely coming from the bias that I like you a lot, Eliot. [And as he says that, he leans in and kisses him tenderly, almost chastely.] I can not imagine a way that someone that knows you couldn't care about you. And as for the legalities of it? Fuck that. So we'll find ways to cover for you both. Magic to hide things. Just don't go getting on your knees for him in public.

[Smiling slightly, teasing him even as he gives him a look.]

You know that thing we're doing right now about Francis and us? You could try that. I'm told talking is important. With relationships. So you don't drink the wrong thing. Like that.

[Because it's easier to joke and tease, even when he's being as honest as he can be.]

The same goes for you both. I know you like him and he likes you. Trust me. I'm not the jealous type. I want you happy. I want him happy. I actually am happy. Before you ask. I never thought I would be here but I really am.

[Eliot's arm comes up around Caleb easily when he moves in closer, tactile as always and happy to have someone to pet and cuddle up with. He kisses back and smiles a little.] I appreciate the sentiment. And he does care, he does love me. He just loves me like a best friend he flirts a little with, not the way I love him. Maybe he could love me, but there were triggers that led us there last time that aren't here. And he shouldn't have to know all of them if he doesn't have to when he's got a second chance here. [He pauses and then adds] Also, a moment of appreciation for how many times I've said the l-word, that would have given me an aneurysm a few months ago.

[He snorts, ducking his head to nip at the shell of Caleb's ear.] It's a little more complicated when there's multiple timelines, a wife, a son, a girlfriend, a different lifetime, possession, and death involved. And because I am forever the weakest link, I did already cave and offer to tell him just so he would stop being pissed off and disappointed in me. He decided he was better off not knowing on his own. And he's not wrong.

[Eliot smiles at that, squeezing Caleb lightly.] My own ridiculous bullshit aside - I'm happy you're happy. I'm glad if I can help with that, whether it's a contract, many blowjobs, or making sure there's a cute sweet blond around for you. I'm glad Margo's happy and I want Q happy too, whether or not it's with me. I've seen things end badly so many times - you got the gist of my groundhog day adventures I think. That's honestly mostly what I want now. My people safe and happy and zero chance of me housing any kind of god monster. The rest is a bonus round.

[Whatever it is that allowed that connection between them, it's made so much easier to lean in together, to talk and share like they are now. The hard barriers are down and gone, and so now they have ones of working out things between them and how to continue this relationship.]

You deserve more than that, Eliot. You're an amazing man who has been through so much. You don't know that it isn't still there without the triggers. You just have to work on it and see what you can have. I mean, not everyone gets a magic bell to work out the hard parts.

[It's a joke, knowing it's maybe not fair but unable to help himself. If only it might make Eliot relax and maybe looking to a chance between them.]

You aren't weak, Eliot. In no way. And I know you didn't mean it that way but I'm going to remind you of that, just like I'm going to remind you that you deserve the love you want. The love you know you've had.

[He tenses slightly, frowning at that. ]

No one should be disappointed in you.

[No matter what there is between them, Eliot is his friend and Caleb will defend him. No matter what.]

Eliot, you help with me being happy by being you. I'm glad you're the one I contracted with. You're my friend and someone I trust. No matter what happens with me and others, with you and Quentin. Whatever there is, you're my friend, okay? And that means so much to me.

[It was something that had been a fight between him and his former dominant. Friendship as a start hadn't been enough and it had been rough on Caleb knowing he was constantly living up to expectations he hadn't agreed to or wanted.]

I'm happy and safe, and I'm here to help. With any of it. Even monsters if it happens.

[Eliot would have said going in that he absolutely wanted nothing to do with manufactured intimacy. And he'd still say that now. But in this one instance, it had worked out for the best because he'd gotten a friend and a confidant out of it when he sorely needed it. He would forever have Margo, but there were things Eliot wanted to shield her from too, so there were details he held back. With Caleb, the need to do that had been bypassed.]

I had that. [Eliot smiles and shrugs.] It wasn't perfect, and I don't exactly remember clearly and he doesn't remember at all. But technically, I already had a lifetime. Even greedy as I am, I know when to settle for a good thing. [Because he'd ruined any chance at anything else when Quentin died because of him. Q being alive here - it was more than enough. Eliot just can't help but feel the twinges. Love's a bitch.] That bell did come in handy though. I'm keeping it in mind for next year, maybe I'll send you in to ring with Francis and I'll bring you water and peek at the show now and then.

[Eliot reaches for Caleb's hand, his fingers running over Caleb's knuckles slowly.] I appreciate the confidence, but trust me when I say that I can definitely be weak, and often a shit, and definitely a coward. He's allowed to be frustrated or disappointed.

But you help me too. And yes. I'll make you a best friends forever bracelet if you want, but only if you don't tell Margo. To be honest I'd make her one but it probably wouldn't suit her style in five minutes and then she'd toss it in a drawer. [Eliot gives him another quick, soft kiss.] Honestly meeting you is one of the better parts of this place, and given there's one best friend here, and another one back from the dead, it's a pretty exacting list to be on. Lets try to steer clear of monsters though.

[Caleb shifts, moving to wrap his other arm around Eliot, snuggling in close to him and pressing soft kisses along his jaw. Trying to offer what comfort he could, to try and be there for him while wanting to do all he can to fight for Eliot having all he wants.

He knows it's wrong, but it just seems unfair that in his life before he had it and now has to face all the reasons he thinks he can't have it here.]

Yeah well, who says a lifetime's enough? But I'll let it go and be here for you, because I want to.

[He really feel he knows Eliot and Eliot knows him and he's glad to have their connection and friendship.]

I bet they don't let us ring without a dominant, but then maybe the three of us can. I... Francis really does deserved to be loved for and cared about and I'm glad that he us and this place to try and make things better for him.

[With a chuckle he crosses his heart.]

Not a word, though I'll gladly wear it. [He hugs Eliot, resting his cheek on Eliot's shoulder for a moment. ] We'll take care of one another, no matter what this place does to us. No matter what.

[Eliot accepts the cuddling and closeness readily, smiling and wrapping Caleb up tight. He's glad he has this, with Caleb. He'd still have Margo, so he'd be getting by regardless. But he knows he wouldn't be coping half as well without Caleb around.] It's not, apparently, but it's better than not having it. And thank you. [Eliot kisses him sweetly. And then laughs ruefully.]

You're probably right. But I'd ring with both of you. We'd have to warn him going it what happens though, assuming we all are still game by the time it comes around again. He might actually like to keep a few secrets, we already gave up all of ours. And he does. We can spoil the hell out of him.

[Eliot hugs him back.] It's a deal. I'll always be there when you need me. And also when you want me, because, and I don't know if I've mentioned this, you're very sexy.

[Snuggling in against Eliot, he sighs softly. He enjoys this, needing this between them and to have this to help him get through this place. Eliot was one of the main things that changed his life in this place. ]

I'm here for you, Eliot. They threw us together not realizing we'd use it to get one another through this place.

Secrets? What are those?

[He laughs though. In this room between the two of them there are no secrets. Unless they've been made in the last month.]

I trust you Eliot, and this place made that hard. So I'm glad you're my dominant.

Oh? Am I? Wow, next to you that is a compliment.

[ From the front, he looks kind of normal. A selfie nude in the bathroom, though both arms are visible, so maybe a photograph? But in the mirror is a tattoo made up of a single initial along with a few arcane symbols. If one were to look carefully. ]

Interesting work. I haven't gotten my first mystical tattoo.

Curiously was there a reason you sent this? Anything I can help with?

[ He's curious about it but not sure why he got it these pictures. ]

Wow. Everyone is going to the tattoo. At least one person rated the composition of the shot.

Fine. Apparently the network has decided to send my dick around to the world and everyone seems more interested in the tattoo. I mean, it's not that different from the one on Eliot's back. It's the cacodemon trap.

...
So you meant to send me a nude and wanted me to comment on it? I... I mean, I just didn't want to make it weird or anything.

I know his, yeah, and I have vague memories of why and what and all. I didn't mean to be insulting commenting on it instead.

What? No! But it got sent to you and a few people and it'd be nice if at least didn't hone in on the tattoo as if the rest of me weren't there. Even if it wasn't meant to go to anyone but El. Or maybe Wanda.

But I get it. Everyone wants me for my arcane mystical symbols and not my body.

[ Work with him here. He's trying to make the best out of an awkward situation, given everything. Him finding Caleb attractive. Him thinking Caleb was replacing him in Eliot's eyes. Eliot instead telling Quentin he was in love with him. Awkward. ]

...

Yep, I respect you for your magic. Guess you'll have to live with that.

... You're pissed I don't automatically jump to ... well wanting to jump you? I mean, after everything? Really?

I'm pissed that no one has. You're not the only one this got sent to.

Maybe they're being polite since if they're like me?

I didn't think you would ever send me that so I was trying to not just to conclusions.

I'm still allowed to be grumpy. If it happened once, twice, okay. Hell, even if one person had liked the image for more than the tattoo.

Maybe you need to send them to certain people then.

It was meant to go to Eliot. Not sure if he actually got it.

You should try and find out if it did. Might make it better.

Well, him I know will appreciate it. He's biased.

[ So many things Caleb wants to say and knows he can't. Or that he won't, for Eliot's sake. It's up to Eliot to do it. ]

I think you're right. Biased isn't a bad thing.

No, no it's not. But it wouldn't be bad to have an unbiased opinion. Or at least not biased in the way he is.

Yeah well, I'm biased. I mean, I can tell you that you've got a great body but I'm not exactly trying to get in your pants, and I'm sure there are some here that are.

I'd call that unbiased if you're not trying to get in my pants.

[Sent as he's leaving the theater, on the day he's killed, to Francis and Caleb.]
Hey, I'm headed back. Either of you want me to pick up anything on the way tonight?

Also Nate didn't let me quit again.

I've half a mind to simply track you down and pounce.

That's maybe my best offer all day.

Though I'm curious if I somehow missed us meeting?

It had better be, Ani.

Were we supposed to meet somewhere?

Things that positively break my heart. My name isn't Ani.

Actually it's Caleb.

Oh gosh.
I'm terribly sorry Caleb.

Oh please, don't be. There's been a lot of weird things lately.

Well I hope you are saved any further strangeness.

I hope your message gets where it was meant to go.

I think I may just try for in person instead.

[About three days or so after Caleb is told of Eliot's death, he gets a text from Eliot.]

I'm having the most unwelcome sense of deja vu ever. Please be here and let this not be some kind of Groundhog day scenario, because I've already played that game.

And if possible, clothes and shoes would be fantastic.

where are you??:?>?

im here and yuo haven been and where r u?

Thank fuck, I have no idea what's going on.

Near the Orientation center.

i'm on myway

[ And it isn't long before he's there with a duffle bag and looking for Eliot.

Hoping that he doesn't notice Caleb's wrinkled clothes, the dark circles under his eyes and how absolutely high strung he looks as if he's been wound up way too tight. ]

Eliot!

[When Caleb finds him, El is leaned up against a building. He looks more or less how he did the last time Caleb saw him. But there's a tightness around his eyes that gives away a headache, and he looks confused, and a little diminished, mostly because he's currently dressed in a flimsy paper gown that only just covers the essentials. He looks up when Caleb calls him and smiles in relief.]

Hey ... I'd say I'm glad to see you, but that's a wild understatement.

[ There is no hesitation. Caleb launches himself at Eliot, wrapping his arms around his neck and clinging to him as if he's afraid he's not real. Not caring that the bag slaps against him, or that he's acting like an idiot.

Eliot is okay and that's what matters. ]

I was so scared you weren't coming back.

[Eliot is a shade slow to catch him in his arms, the headache currently beating its way through his skull making his reflexes shit. But he still wraps his arms tight around Caleb in return.]

Back from where, exactly? Last I remember I was about to leave the theater for the night and then I was stumbling out of the Orientation Center with my ass hanging out and no idea how I got there.

[ Eliot's words bring on the worst sensation, a pain that he has no words for. He draws back, staring at Eliot with tears tracing down his cheeks. There's so much there, emotions he has no idea how to put into words.

The same with the truth that he realizes he has to tell Eliot, and he should hear it from Caleb. ]

You texted me that night saying you were on your way home. You... You never made it. Someone from the city told me that you... you were killed, Eliot. That was three nights ago.

[Eliot's hand comes up, thumb brushing away a tear, and he frowns at Caleb explains.

He remembers the theater, grabbing his stuff to go, and then ...

He tries to remember past that and his head just blossoms with pain again, tendrils of a headache lancing behind his eyes and down his neck along with in his damn brain. Eliot sucks in a pained breath, pressing a hand to his eyes.]

I don't remember. Or can't remember, more likely, since my head is splitting open when I try. Who killed me? Why? Are you all right? Quentin? Margo, Francis?

Edited 2021-04-05 01:32 (UTC)

[ He's clinging to Eliot and he knows it and he knows it's not what he needs right now. Except he's become so close to Eliot and he doesn't want to let him go. He needs him here.

Only holding tighter when he draws that breath. ]

Don't think about it. Please. Don't hurt yourself.

[ Of course this place has done this to him. ]

I don't know. The city sent someone to tell us and that was all we were told. There's been other deaths too. A guy I met found a body.

[ Which doesn't help. Not in the least. ]

I'm fine. Quentin... he's not handled it well. He's wasted best I know. Margo is swearing revenge and I don't know where Francis is. I've just been trying to hold everything together because everyone swore you'd be back.

[ The words are rushed, cracking and he's just so desperately holding tight to Eliot. ]

[Eliot holds tight to him and huffs a pained little laugh.] Try not to think about pink elephants.

[It's impossible not to think about when someone he trusts and loves says he's been dead - all he can do is try to figure out HOW and WHY, and then want to drive an ice pick through his skull.]

So maybe just wrong place, wrong time? I hate that more. If I'm going to die I need it to be a vendetta and something elaborate and dramatic.

[Eliot bends his head over Caleb and kisses his forehead. He takes a deep breath, trying to think through the pain in his head.] Okay. Okay. Let me get dressed, and then help me back to the apartment, and if I can still see when I get there, we'll go from there, okay?

[ That only makes Caleb hold him tighter. A little over three months ago and he would have been determined to never end up in this place again but he knows he cares about Eliot so dearly and just knowing he's been through death hurts.

Even if he's realizing that Eliot doesn't remember how he died and Caleb is thankful for that. ]

I guess? I don't know. Another guy I've met found a body too. But those assholes who killed people before made a lame ass post about how it wasn't them but just seemed like they were bragging.

[And it had taken everything in him not to hurt them because he was hurting.

Caleb nods at that though, drawing a shaky breath and stepping back so that Eliot can work on getting dressed. ]

Whatever you need. I'm here for you. You should text Quentin, or plan to see him. He hasn't been handling this well.

[Eliot just leans into him, mostly letting Caleb and the wall prop him up and trying to NOT think with ... limited success.]

Unless the city wants to suddenly get free with access to its security footage, we might not know for sure anytime soon. We'll have to rely on my brain eventually getting more cooperative.

[Eliot draws a shaky breath and then straightens up, taking the clothes as Caleb hands them to him and pulling them on, hands a little shaky as he gets dressed.]

Lets get back and then I'll text him and Francis and Margo before I pass out.

[ Caleb has worked hard to be strong, and he's tried to be the one to hold others together. He worked so hard to be the man others needed but just because everyone said Eliot would be back doesn't mean he had been sure. And missing him hard hurt more than he could find words for. Even if he had opened up to anyone.

Which he hadn't. He had just stayed strong. And now he draws back to keep being as strong as he needs him to be. ]

You... will you stay with me tonight.

[ Even if he's sure, with that question, he's failing. ]

[Eliot is visibly a bit unsteady as he pulls on clothes, but he manages with a little help from Caleb and the nice, sturdy wall.

When he's dressed he balls up the hospital gown and throws it in the nearest dumpster, then gives Caleb a thin smile.]

Let's go, handsome.

[His head tilts a little and he reaches up to brush shaky fingers over Caleb's cheek.] Of course. We live together, for one, and for another I don't really want to be alone either.

[ Caleb stays close, hovering, watching Eliot and trying not to just reach out and steady him but staying close enough he could.

The moment he's dressed and ready, he's right there, leaning into him and that touch. He catches his shirt with shaky fingers. ]

I'm just glad. I've just been holding things together but... it scared me.

[ It's a reminder how easily he can lose the people he loves here and it hurts. ]

[Eliot blows out a relieved breath when he's dressed like a human again, and lets Caleb half prop him up, but curls an arm around him too, since he sees the shaky fingers, hears it in his voice.]

I'm sorry. But you're here, and I'm here, and we're okay. We can just stumble our way back to the Up and collapse and figure out what happened as much as we can later. Okay? Once we get there, you don't have to hold anything together.

[ He pushes in against Eliot thankfully, glad to have him there and close. He rests his head against Eliot's shoulder for a moment before straightening, nodding at that. ]

Sounds good. Just... don't go and die again. Okay? It's a rule.

[ And he kind of means it, though he knows that it's not something that he can truly makes happen. ]

[Eliot runs fingers through his hair tiredly and then kisses the top of his hair. He smiles ruefully.]

I promise to do my utmost not to. It's really not on my to-do list. But if I do, you get to decide my punishment.

[Eliot goes quiet then, focusing on just making his way home with Caleb and letting Caleb help him.]

[ He's walking carefully, keeping Eliot close as he uses his magic and his strength to keep him upright and keep them moving. Going slow and steady, just needing to do all he can to take care of his dominant. But more than that, his friend. ]

You just want me to punish you. Admit it.

[ Because it sounds like them, their teasing and their jokes. ]

[Eliot huffs a laugh, wincing slightly as he does.]

Maybe save it for when I can enjoy it. But then - absolutely, anytime you want, gorgeous.

can i call nick nick if i know a real nick
question for the ages

i kissed him once
mistletoe thing
liked it and then you two looked in love
hated him for a while
hate you

I wasn't sure you even got my name at first and then I wasn't sure if I was insulted or amused you keep calling me that.
But I guess if you hated me why remember my name?

I do love him. I'm just not in love with him. He saved me though and he's one of my favorite people. Sorry but that won't change.

You really shouldn't be texting stoned or drunk or whatever you are. It turns out bad.

fuck its still doing it

that wasnt to you

i knew your name but you were dressed as hot santa when we met

and then you called me rudolph at the mistletoe

nick for st nick kind of stuck

[ Under normal circumstances, you might even call it a fond nickname. ]

its fine

i just thought you were replacing me for a while

magician
magician
sub

but then he

so sorry for being a dick
went from wanting to kiss you to punch and kiss you and its fine now

You were dressed as reindeer. It wasn't a bad look for you.

You could ask me about that, or ask Eliot.
I'm not a magician and I'm not looking to replace anyone.
I don't do jealousy or put myself in its way.

But I do care about Eliot. That's not going to change but it's not me trying to take anyone's place. Promise.

Apology accepted but all you have to do is ask. I'm pretty open here.
When did you want to kiss me again?

he kissed me when i first showed up

didn't know what to do with that
still dont

wasnt really you
it was the idea of you

but then he said he needed me
it was like sunlight

now?

[ Not that he exactly expects a yes. Besides, he has places to be, drugs to consume. ]

And you want to kiss me why, Quentin? Because of him? Despite him?

Because neither of us are in good places, and while I'm very open?
I'm not good with being someone's substitute.

before him

[ Okay, maybe not before the whole mess with Eliot started, but before he knew that Nick had any kind of association with Eliot. ]

mistletoe

Oh. Well good. Hate to think you didn't want it then.

Tell me you're at least somewhere remotely safe.

[ It's Duplicity. No where is actually safe. ]

im being babysat by wembley

Wembley?

ragnus

Do you ever call anyone by their name?

...el and margo

[ Even though El's a nickname, technically, too. ]

I see. Well if that's your thing, so be it. I suspect calling Margo by a nickname would be a bad choice.

i like my life

Good. I'm glad. You should like your life. And soon it'll be back to what it should be.

wish i knew what that even was

hey
fancy joining?

[ Attached:

and

]

Edited 2021-04-26 19:13 (UTC)

I'd be happy just to watch because, damn.

mmm, no deal
i want you both.

All for it. You at home or the theatre?

theatre's not cleaned up yet

i'm at home
in anna's room
in her bed

getting less clothed all the time.
you gonna get to me before she strips me completely...?

You could have texted before you got that far.

I'm on my way.

you need a portal, love?

yes please. means i don't have to totally dress. let me catch up.

[ And so one appears, a round hole in reality itself. It's rimmed by purple because Nate is casting, but in the centre, it just looks like a window direct to another room.

Caleb's room, on Nate and Anna's end. And Anna's, on Caleb's end. He'll see them in the bed, Anna still on top of Nate. By now, Nate's jeans are open and his hands are sliding over Anna's neat waist. ]

[ It's a bit surprising to be invited to a threesome, but it's Nate who he loves and Anna who he thinks is both beautiful and brilliant and so he can't help but be honored they even invited him.

The portal opens and he steps through in jeans and nothing else, not worrying about dressing given what he was invited for, and the pictures he had seen of the two of them.

Stepping through the portal, watching the pair with a hunger he can't hide. Not that he would even try. ]

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Look at you both.

[ Speaking softly, his voice husky as he strolls closer to the bed. ]

( Anna distracts herself easily enough while Nate texts Caleb and opens the portal. her hands roam over Nate's chest, nails light and teasing as her lips find his throat and she gently sucks there. she doesn't need to get anyone too worked up yet.

when Caleb steps through, Anna lifts her head and tucks her hair behind her ear. ) Speak of the devil. ( she teases, before she reaches out with a hand to take Caleb's and pull him onto the bed with them. )

[ Anna's light trailing nails and soft lips are more distracting than she probably knows. They certainly have Nate's erection swelling against her, even though he is deliberately holding himself back; he's got to focus on that portal.

Then Caleb steps through, and all bets are off. The window to the other bedroom flickers and dies as Nate tips his head back, grinning as he reaches for Caleb's other hand. ]

Maybe we should rethink this, I dunno if the world's ready for you both naked in my bed at the same time. It's too hot.

[ He reaches up to kiss Caleb, and then Anna, both with open mouths and his tongue flicking into theirs. He slides an arm around each of them. ]

Have you two had each other yet?

[ Caleb gladly takes Anna's hand, sliding up onto the bed and pressing in close to them. Just that short glimpse of the two of them has left him aching, half hard just from the image of them, the solid warmth of Anna's hand in his. ]

If this is how the world goes down, so be it.

[ And he's okay with that in that moment, if only he can be here with them.

Kissing Nate as his fingers stroke along his cheek before looking to Anna. ]

No. I've just been lucky enough to spend time with her and hopefully becoming friends.

[ Even as he says that, he leans into her, nuzzling at her jaw, along her cheek, aching for more with her, with them both. The promise of this moment is nearly overwhelming and he loves it. ]

( this whole moment sends Anna's little heart fluttering. everything from the soft way Nate kisses her, letting his tongue drag along hers before slowly pulling away. to the way Caleb touches Nate's cheek so intimately. so sweetly. she loves seeing the feeling there.

and she can feel it, too.

as Caleb leans in to nuzzle, Anna pulls her hands from Nate's chest to bring them to the back of her neck. she unsnaps the collar that holds her siphon, letting both fall away. letting everything flood her without filter. )

Definitely... friends.... ( Anna responds, her cheeks flushed and fully distracted by the heavy feeling of love, kindness, romance, and most of all lust mingling between all three of them.

and as such she dips her head, reaching down to catch Caleb's lips in a light, playful kiss. ) Fast friends. ( she grins. )

[ Nate's breath catches at the sight of that siphon hitting the bed. He knows what that means. Anna's opening herself up to feel everything, everything that's between him and Caleb, between himself and her, between Caleb and her. No filters. She's just laid herself bare. ]

Love, are you sure?

[ He says, wary of overwhelming her. He knows it'll be a lot; he knows the way his heart spikes when Caleb touches him, the intensity of the feelings that have been between them for months. That, combined with the strength of Nate's feelings for Anna; the relief at her return, the fear she'll disappear again, the urgency of keeping her close, and the sexual attraction between all of them, it'll be so much.

He looks up at Caleb, meeting his eyes, and he reaches to run his hand down his chest. He draws them both close; Anna had been straddling him already, and he shifts to tug Caleb's hand and move him around behind her. ]

She could take us both, [ He says softly, hazel eyes lifting to meet Caleb's. ]

[ Caleb finds himself aching, wanting to explore every inch of them, to find out every secret that makes them moan and every spot that can draw a whimper from them.

Sliding his hand along Anna's stomach, leaning between kissing her to nuzzling at Nate's shoulder. Just wanting every touch, every kiss they're willing to share with him, to have him there with them. It's like a new kind of magic all together, wild and crackling over his skin.

Yet he isn't expecting that slight change in mood, glancing between them. Moving as directed, sliding behind Anna and letting his body mold against hers. Sliding his hands over her hip, along her thighs as he meets Nate's gaze over her shoulder. ]

Give her anything and everything she wants.

[ It's a soft vow, kissing her shoulder as he stares at Nate. ]

did you steal cerberus when i wasn't looking??

i so didn't steal him. i might come over to borrow him but i would ask but also what's going on?

i definitely didn't lose cerberus for a full fifteen minutes and then try to figure out how he got into a locked room and then locked the door behind himself again.

seriously. i was looking everywhere.

Wait, seriously? Shit. A while back there was issues with things going missing, objects moving. Some say it was spirits.

Was this at the house or the theatre? I mean, if the theatre could have been one of the creatures.

the house! i keep the spare room locked because well. who wants dog hair on their fresh bed when they come to visit right??

i don't know if there's a spirit in the house or if i need to seriously be concerned about cerberus' intelligence. either way, i'm getting sage.

He's not one of the creatures Nate's adopting out, is he? I hadn't seen him among them but if he's one of those guys, who knows how smart he is.

Chester is pretty smart, and Tempest is a mad thing with what she can do.

no I'd have my hands full if he was like Chester or Tempest!

nate thinks he might have found a bead on the floor or something... in this house it's possible.

Don't I know it. I thought the sparkly pink fox wouldn't be as much to deal with as the many handed thing. I was wrong.

A bead? A Nate bead?

a Nate bead. cerberus is such a big puppy it was probably just like a crumb to him.

Oh man. Oh. Ohi keep giggling.

you are so lucky that's what it was. i mean oh god, imagine.

imagine if my dog could teleport or my house was haunted!?

idk which would be worse!

I'm crying why is my dog a vacuum

One is not exclusive of the other >.> I mean the way these places looked before... Haunting might be a thing.

Change his name to Hoover?

HAH I love that name now!

but also don't curse my house like that ): i'm alone here too often for that life.

Well El and I are moving in basically next door so not too alone.

Except performance nights.

If we see any signs though of it being a haunting, we'll talk to them and work things out.

Also if you're ever not happy about being alone and Nate's busy, ping me. I'll come by and keep you company.

oh be careful of that offer. I cuddle. a lot.

we'll watch movies and eat popcorn and I'll cuddle......

Hey, you don't know. Maybe that's exactly why I made that offer.

When? Tell me when.

oh well then~

I'm free later tonight if you are :)

That's perfect. What can I bring?

your beautiful self~ and any snacks you might want (:

Flatterer. I see how you are.

I'll see you then.

(ooc:I'm up for playing it out, here or I can make a post. Whichever you prefer.)

i think anna's dog ate one of my teleporting pearls

He...

one minute while i stop laughing

yep

and thus we know they work on dogs
if anyone asks we'll pretend it was intentional and i didn't just leave charmed pearls lying about in the house

We have to worry about this at the shop.
What if it works on the adoptlings?

Also that means being careful of our little ones... and also Nick.

nick's not gonna eat a pearl

[ ......although. It is Nick. ]

yeah ok, i'll buy a label machine

Though, you know, if we need to check the new chameleon potion, he might do it.

Though now I'm wondering about if you could put them in collars to be activated by remote. Like what if there was a problem and needed to get the animals to safety and could activate it that way.

they'd need some refinement...right now if you break one, it takes you where you're thinking of
we'd need it to obey at a distance instead of obeying the creature wearing it

worth thinking about, though. nice safety feature.

Something to look into. We have enough pets between me and Sam to make sure there's a way to watch over them if things get weird with this place.

well you know i'm always up for a new challenge, anyway. i'm game.

lets do it. i'm sure tempest would be all for it. lets us see on the adoptlings as well.

hey so, you know how some ppl got presents after camp harm?

i got a ton of music lmk if u want some

also i fell asleep listening to it and woke up like 4 years older so

just a head's up

Everything I was about to say about music is gone.

Seriously? You went into one of those comas? Like overnight?

Yeap. I'm okay tho, like, idk, being older gave me zen or something.

did you wake up with signs that all those years went by?

Yeah, I'm a bit taller and I can grow a full beard now.

I may have laughed at that.
Though it's not funny. I don't get how they manage this.

I'm kinda glad, actually? I'm more centered now, makes this place seem less scary.

So things are better then? Good. I'm glad. This place can be overwhelming when you don't have that kind of empathy.

i'm excited to not be freaking out about everything at all times

fair enough. sorry you're back here.

It's alright. I mean, I know I'll go home eventually and I'm better equipped to handle the place now.

I hadn't thought about it that way. I'm just glad that maybe things will be better for you while you're here.

Is it weird that I'm not stressed about it?

About how it happened, or about things being better for you?

I guess it doesn't matter. It's good you aren't, I think. I try and not stress over much about this place for myself.

[ Except leaving. ]

Either, I guess. I'm just chill.

Is that because of something that happened back in your world?

Sort of? Like, I got all these new memories, but also I remember going through the shock of showing up here to begin with and trying to balance it all.

And now it's just easier. I've done it before so I know I can manage.

I'm glad you feel more settled this time, though I wish you weren't back here and dealing with this.

We should get together soon. Hang out.

Oh yeah, tell me when and where, I got free time.

This weekend's good. I can write most of my own schedule so I can definitely make time.

I'll even come to the Up if you prefer.

We can meet up at my place. I'm on my own and I can sort of cook now.

I'm definitely not going to turn that down. That totally works. I really should learn to cook more.

hey c

listen as of now, that archivist jonathan sims is barred from the theatre

it's warded against him and i'm doing the same to our house.

You got it, Boss. Good to know, though I don't think I know him.
I remember someone posting fliers with his name on them once? Maybe?

i dunno, but he's not welcome.

he thinks the creatures are dangerous, won't be told otherwise.

If he thinks harmless odd animals are dangerous, what does he think about people like you and me?

oh they look odd, you see, that's the problem

if it looks different then it must be dangerous, didn't you know?

Well of course. I mean, how can a small flying cat be harmless?

You might want to talk to anyone that's gotten one of the pets and make sure they don't let him near them. If someone asked to see Tempest I might not hesitate because who would harm her?

yeah, it's not a bad idea. i'm worried about him going about warning people about them too, could put them in danger. they're so innocent, i don't even know if they'd fight back

Maybe work some of the ones that enjoy it into a show or such? And those of us with them make sure they're seen and known. Show that they're friendly and harmless?

They won't fight back but we will.

What about charms to protect them? Give them as gifts to the owners? Nick, me and you could work on them and get some done for all of them.

yeah. i like all of those ideas

but the charms are a great call. we should be even more circumspect about who we give them to. i really don't want them in jon's vicinity

We need to figure out a way to check on those that already have them and their closeness to him.
If you/we're close enough to them then maybe be honest that there's a possibility of harm to them?

[ He's never asked about this and he's not going to today either. Not directly. ]

You've talked to whomever you've been getting them from I assume. In case they directly adopted any as well.

don't worry about my source, that part's covered

but yeah, we should probably do some quiet investigating. the thing is i don't want to stir things up more, i don't want to give him more reason to think he should be worried about them

I'm never going to ask. Just worrying for them and the creatures now.

I get that. Though, sadly, if they find what's different fearful, they're not going to likely stop.
I lived by a covenant for exactly that reason.

i know.

it was the original reason why witches were hiding in my world, too
of course somewhere along the line that got polluted by ambition and general arseholery, but still

some people will always fear what they don't know. it's sad. particularly with those creatures. there's nothing dark or cruel in them.

Well it's not going to be an issue in this place, as well as taking care of the animals.

And one another. If he's after them, we could be next.

we're not gonna let that happen either. i'd like to think steph would talk him down from that.

Are they close here? Or just he's the one of us to do that?

he's steph's bloody boss, isn't he.

Great. Lovely.

For the first time I'm wishing for some of the bullshit in this place to distract him.

yeah, you and me both. maybe we'll get lucky and he'll find something else to obsess about.

nick is dead

hey. you around to talk?

yeah, of course. wherever you need me.

the house is fine. my room?

sure. on my way.

[ The portals make it easy to get to the house, heading up to her bedroom quickly and he taps on the door. He's trying his best to look steady though he's got it all on loop in his head, everything he's heard. ]

( she's quick to jump up to the door, three dogs inside following after. as she opens, they rush the bedroom door to greet Caleb. ) Ey. Give him space. ( Anna snaps her fingers and points to the bed for the dogs, though the young Cerberus still jumps around. )

Sorry. They're just always happy to see you.

[ It makes Caleb smile despite everything, rubbing at their ears. It's actually comforting and he scritches Cerberus again. ]

It's okay. I'm glad to see them too. [ He straightens, trying to keep the smile but it doesn't really work. ] Are you okay? I mean... given everything, are you okay?

( it makes Anna smile to see Caleb smile, even a little, but she pats the bed next to her to invite Caleb to sit with her.

she sighs heavily, nods her head. ) A bit emotionally spent. What about you?

[ There's no hesitation as he comes to sit beside her, sliding his arm around her shoulders and giving a squeeze. ]

The same. I keep feeling like there's something I should be doing and don't know what.

( she easily melts against his side as he climbs up next to her, resting her head on his shoulder. ) All we can do is be there for Nate.

( she bites her lip before she asks. ) Did you know about his empathy bond with Nick?

[ His hold tightens a bit, keeping her close. He needs it in that moment, and he can't resist the comfort that comes from it. ]

And for Nick when he comes back. From what I've heard he won't remember any of this at first.

[ He doesn't answer right away, thoughts flickering through his head that he pushes down and away before shaking his head. ]

No, I don't think I've heard anything about that.

( she nods her head. ) Stephen called me.

He's worried about Nate. And I am too.

( she looks up at Caleb now, all the worry writ in her eyes. ) He loves us all so much. Sometimes too much. And I'm worried he's stretching himself too thin.

I can't blame either of you for worrying. I know I have been. With a lot of things.

[ It's like swallowing acid though, his brow furrowing. Because he can imagine what the right thing to do might seem, what others might think the right thing to do. ]

I can't blame you for that. What are you thinking?

I don't know. ( she confesses before burrowing herself against Caleb's chest further. ) I would say let's talk to him, but last time I tried to tell him I was worried about what he was doing he nearly shut me out entirely.

[ He shifts to turn a bit closer to her so he could wrap both arms around her, keeping her close. ]

Yeah, I've felt that a few times when I've tried to talk to him before. I would say this though, I think he needs us. All of us.

[ He presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. ] I've seen how hard it hits him when he losses someone.

( she takes a deep breath of Caleb's warmth mingled with his scent. it's so centering for her. )

Oh I'd never leave him. I don't intend to confront him about this either.

I just... ( what does she want... what can they even do? ) I just want to make sure we're all taking care of him.

He needs us. Not just now, but always. And he'll hurt himself to keep us. We can't let that continue to happen.

I never though you would, Anna. Not in the least.

[ No would Stephen, he thinks. Just from the short times they've spoken.

He tries not to tense, worrying he's done something he shouldn't have. ]

I've been doing my best to be there for him. Do you... have I done something wrong, Anna? If I have, please tell me.

[ He loves Nate with all his heart, and he has for longer than he can remember now. It feels like since the moment he came to this place. ]

All I want is the best for Nate, and for you and Stephen, for those that work at the theatre and are part of that family.

Oh, Caleb. ( Anna says softly, her attentions turning fully to Caleb now. she looks up at him with concern in her eyes, reaching up to stroke his cheek. )

You're so good to him. To all of us. Better even than me for him. You haven't done anything wrong.

I'm sorry if I made you think that. I'm only telling you this so you know what we're dealing with with Nate and Nick. Not because I thought you weren't doing enough.

[ He sighs softly, leaning into that touch. He doesn't try and hide the brightness of his eyes, the concern for Nate, for all of them. ]

I just wanted to make sure. Because I sometimes don't know what to do for him but to be there. It never feels like enough.

[ He doesn't often admit these things but he feels right now that they all need to be open. For Nate's sake, and their own.

His hand covers hers, moving it to the side slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the center of her palm. ]

I just always want to do everything I can for you guys. I want to do what I can to help him. Ever since last year... I know things have been rough for him.

[ He remembers being there for him that night he had gotten so wasted in the theatre, how things were after Nick Scratch had vanished. ]

I just don't know what to do.

( she closes her eyes when he kisses her palm, sighing softly before she rests her palm in his cheek.

she doesn't need to reach out with her empathy to see how deeply it touches Caleb, honestly. )

I wish I had an answer. But all we can do is keep encouraging him to do healthier and be there for him when he struggles.

You're doing amazingly. Don't doubt yourself.

[ The soft touches, the warmth of having Anna there, it's all things that he needs. He wouldn't have reached out, not while Nate is dealing with all he is, but he realizes in that moment he truly needs it more than he had realized. ]

We don't know how long Nick will be gone. [ He can't think about what happens if he doesn't come back. ] Has anyone checked with who he's contacted to? Make sure he's showing as still contracted? I mean, just to make sure?

I haven't asked, but I'll look into it. ( she can feel some kind of tension in Caleb releasing, and she can't help but feel glad she could be there for him, too. just as she knows she can depend on him. )

Did you know Nick that well?

[ As with other things, Caleb has just known that he has to try and be strong, to do what he can for those he cares about. He's still adjusting to feel he has others here for him because he hadn't known it. Not in the ways he has here. ]

I just... I want to make sure he's expected to come back. [ He shrugs slightly, waggling his hand back and forth. ] We're friends. We use each other to help us test things and all. I've been at the theatre since his first day.

( she nods her head firmly. ) I'll make sure we keep checking that he comes back.

I don't want you guys to lose anyone else.

Those that I've known that died they were only gone a few days, but I just don't trust this place. Just because of how it's been before, I don't know now.

[ He can't stand to even think about Nick not coming back. Not just for Nate, but especially for Nate. ]

When he comes back, you should get to know him. He would adore you.

You've spoken to Lestat?

Edited 2021-10-03 03:55 (UTC)

I have. I'm glad he's here for you.

What do you think of him?

We only talked a bit but he really seems to be concerned about you and helping you handle this place.

Which means, I'm totally supportive of him and like him a lot.

Concerned... Yes, I suppose he is.

He told me that you made an offer.

Being concerned like I am, I was all for that.

So yeah. I did. Are you upset I did?

I'm not upset. I simply find it difficult to articulate my feelings on the subject.

I should say first that I am grateful.

I'm here for you, Louis. As your friend. I want to help.

Should I assume because of that difficulty that there's a but coming?

I do find it startling that so many people would offer.

Not you, perhaps. You are kind, and I consider you a friend. But in general, it does seem strange to me.

A lot of those kidnapped here are good people. Others are probably into vampires or pain.

Me, I'm just a good friend who wants to help.

You are indeed. Thinking back upon my mortal life, I doubt that it is something that I would have offered out of the goodness of my heart. I cannot imagine it, really.

Different times. Different lives led before now. Best I can assume.

From the time my friend Pogue was born, I was told how it was my job to take care of him, then them when the others were born. There's less than a year between us all. It's who I am, how I show I care.

And you've never had any trouble with that?

I had a brother in life, and I doted on him. He was the center of my world, and my mother and my sister were in my care after my father died. I was raised to think of others ahead of myself.

Even so, I don't think that I would have offered myself to a vampire in need. I think it is frankly remarkable.

Only when they didn't listen. When I knew they were driving themselves to an early death and they wouldn't listen to me and do the right thing. Then it was hard. Knowing they were on the same paths our fathers had been. To die as old men at a very young age.

I have trouble with watching those that I can help choose pain and misery when there's another way.

Thank you for that though. I can live with remarkable... if you'll try and live without harming yourself to barely hold on to what living it.

I can try.

It sounds like you've been through a great deal. I understand how it feels to be powerless to stop someone you love from making grave mistakes. It is the kind of inaction that weighs on a person.

Once they ascended, I don't think there's been much I can do. It's been five years since then. One of them is doing better than the others have.

They're adults now and it's their lives. Doesn't make it easier though.

What do you mean, ascended?

We get a taste of our powers at thirteen. When you turn eighteen though, you get them all.

It's like going from zero to a thousand miles per hour in the course of a lightning strike.

I see. It sounds to me like it would be quite difficult to prepare for something so totally overwhelming.

You can't. We try. You think you can handle it, not give in, but it's hard. It's so hard.

And then you start aging.

One of ours had been lost and when we found him again it was because he'd come to kill us for more power because he had no control and had been driven mad by it.

It's part of why I like it here.

What do you mean, exactly? Because this place is a something of a respite from all of that?

it's not killing me here. It's different somehow.

If I use too much it tires me out and has even knocked me out but it's not using me up to power it.

Perhaps because we cannot truly die here.

I guess so. I just know that this place has offered me a lot, despite having the mark.

I'm glad you feel that way. I find it remarkable how kind some people can be under even the very worst circumstances.

Its amazing to me how much everyone here is helping one another and that they don't turn on each other.

would you be ok with me moving full time into obsidian port when we get out tomorrow?

... of course. its our house, all three of us.

did stephen go home?

no we broke up

oh

oh babe, i'm so sorry. fuck. how are you doing?
i wish i could be there for you.

idk i still can't really feel things like i should

i know i should be upset
or angry
or both

probably but maybe while you're in jail it's good you're not any of the above.
enough you're going through this by yourself.

we'll get through this when you start feeling those things though.
even if you don't believe i'll still be there, i will. as long as this place will let me and still working on beyond.

you've never made me think anything else

you've always had my back

stephen hasn't. he never wanted me to do this. i shouldn't be surprised.

i always will.
i'm still sorry.

we'll get through this, and we'll work out things.
with the house, with our life, and with where things go from here.

once i'm not sitting here being glad i'm not popular.

they're all fools

but i'm glad they are. i'm glad you're safe.

Or I kept talking about the monsters I was seeing on the network.

Are you still seeing them? I stopped seeing them a couple of days ago and I don't know what to think about it.

no
it stopped after three days

i fell asleep after, but it's like half of me forgot to wake up again

[Caleb thinks about what Nate must be feeling. The loss, the cut off from what he had hoped for the guilt, the pain. No wonder he's not feeling anything.

Caleb wonders if he's shut down, and he isn't sur what to do if he has, but he'll be there for him.]

You will though. With time you will.
And if you don't, we'll go from there. Okay?

[He can't have him worrying that Caleb would leave if he didn't wake up, but he can't help but hope he will. ]

[ He's quiet, for a while. Then: ]

i don't want to be in my head anymore.

[There's no hesitation in his reply. He should but he can't. Not when Nate has coped with all he has in a short time. All he can do is his best to be there for him to get through this.]

Pick me up tomorrow soon as they let us out. We'll take care of it. Okay? Together.

Because I don't want to be either, and I don't want you to be alone.

okay

but i have to go to the city to try and get out of my permanent contract with stephen, and then i have to move out

Okay. Same applies.

Don't do any of it alone. Please?

are you sure

You're my best friend, my boyfriend, and my dominant. I'm here for you through thick and thin.

And I need it too. To focus on you, and to be out of my head.

then okay
yes, come with me tomorrow. we'll stay together

then we'll go home together.
we'll be okay.

Thank you for letting me. I want to be with you.

[He doesn't want to be alone anymore. Not to just wallow in his thoughts. To think about how this place is, what it thinks of him, and what he has to lose. Mostly of all he doesn't want to think about that loss that they all face, that had led them to this.]

We will be. We're going to be okay.
I trust you in that, Nate. I know we will.

[ Right now, the reality of their failure is a fact in Nate's mind. The emotional side of it can't hit him yet. It will.

They know for certain now that they can't do anything about what they love being taken from them. The people they lose will be gone for good. That includes each other.

It means that all they have, all they are, has to be here in this moment. ]

we have each other. if that's all we can count on then that's enough

i'll take care of you. i promise.

it's more than enough nate. whatever i can have is more than enough.

[He's glad they're texting where Nate can't see him cry, can't hear the soft sobs as he clutches at the device desperately.]

i know you will. there's no doubt about that.
just know you're not alone. we won't let you be. you have so many that love you and we're here for you

i know.

you've never let me down, caleb. not even once

i think you're a better boyfriend to me than i am to you quite frankly. i promise you, i won't let you be alone either. i'll get you out of your head. whatever comes next, we'll face it together.

i've never felt that way though nate.
you've done so much for me and taught me so much.

we'll make it though. i love you. i'm here for you.

tomorrow, c. we'll be together tomorrow. it will be okay.

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are you looking forward to them?
one of them's more chaotic than i am if you can believe it

actually I am. they're part of our household, aren't they?

i never had pets growing up. i like our growing menagerie.

neither did i, chiefly because i didn't trust my sister's snakes not to eat them

i'd never be without them now though.

i hope they're ok without us.

there are so many things wrong with that sentence. as if i didn't already think there were so many things wrong with your family.

stephen has them and will watch them. tempest has likely been under my bed the whole time.
you have someone watching the dogs?

[Obviously the new house rule is that any major undertakings can only include two of the three of them from now on.]

fuck. i didn't tell you?

[ He really is out of it. ]

kyle. i asked kyle to.

you probably did. my thoughts aren't all here still.

makes sense though.
screw them not just letting us take out a wall on that place.

[At the very least put in a doorway.]

we could give them a key

if you're going to be logical and all... fine
but we should

sorry

we should, though. something else to do when we're out

we will. he's a take care of person type. he'll be there for them.

yeah, he is.
i'm glad they took eliot's place.

i am too.
we need to find someone else we want in that other place on the other side of kyle and nick

do you know anyone who's looking?

honestly? i've kind of realized while being in here that i haven't really gotten to know anyone new.
i guess i should get on that.

i met someone new

he's not a dominant but i do think you would like him. his name's jaskier
he's a singer
he came to visit me, he's really kind

oh! i did meet him.
he came to see me too. wanted to help me get through it all.
you're right. he is.

i was having visions of your arm being ripped off and...

[ And he's suddenly remembering something else. ]

nate, i want to ask you a question but i understand if you don't want to answer this.
do you remember me talking to you about my crush? on that guy that saved me from the gangs?

[ Oh.

Oh. He'd actually forgotten about that. Everything that happened in the immediate aftermath of the portals appearing is a blur to him.

But now that Caleb says it... ]

i remember

i saw things when we were fighting monsters. like he was there.
his magic.
weird, huh?

no, it actually makes quite a lot of sense

i should have told you. i just sort of liked being with you when you didn't know, it was exciting.

i never suspected. just found myself crushing on him.
it was exciting and to me its kind of amazing.
i was falling for him. i still am, i guess.

i'm sorry if this ruined that for you.

don't be ridiculous
i shouldn't have kept it going for so long.

i'm a caped crusader.
surprise.

you're allowed to have secrets, you know.

everything else you do and you're a hero too.

i started during the gang war
fighting back, helping people, it made me feel like i had purpose again
i hadn't felt that way since before i died
it felt good.

i'm glad you did.
you deserve to feel that way nate

i wonder if you know how much you've changed my life

me, or warlock?

i meant you. there's so much you've done for me.

though

warlock helped me remember that i can care about others, and crush on others, and that I shouldn't let loss and pain keep me from that.

warlock taught you that, did he?

He's the first new person I've been into in a while now. It's just really been you and Eliot for a while.

Not intentionally. I just realized it.

i'm sorry. that he wasn't really new, i mean.

Why are you sorry? I fell for you twice. I'm not sorry for that.

no, well nor am i.

i mean i'm sorry for tricking you.

Don't be. There's no point to a secret identity if you tell everyone.

well, you know now.

you were impressive. when we fought together, i mean. you were really good.

And I will keep it a secret too. Not that I think you doubt that but you have my word.

Thank you. I mean, I had to show off, right?

you did well. actually we did well, together.

i should've told you that night.

That's how I saw it. We did well together.

Nate, it's okay. I'm not upset you didn't. The black magic though, it gave it away.
It also made things clearer for me in that moment when I needed things to be clear.

my stupid purple flare would've given me away easily, i had to disguise it

i just thought i'd play into the shadow theme

probably a bit dramatic tbh. but at least it meant it couldn't be traced back to me.

Yeah, it would have. Your purple is distinctive.

Your secret's safe with me, Nate. Though I may still flirt with Warlock.

are you gonna fight with him, too?

If he'll let me, I'm there.

I never thought about actually fighting for rights and to protect others. I always thought about doing it as a lawyer but here, that doesn't work. Maybe it's time for another way.

i think he'd let you

i think he'd need a name to call you when you were on the field, though.

Perhaps a disguise as well.

Though that's likely easier than a name. Suppose I'll have to figure out the right one. Just to try and fit as well as some.

i don't think you'd have a problem with that

i saw you in that fight, remember. in your memory?
i think you'd be perfect.

I never thought I'd get a chance to use those skills to help others.
It still amazes me how much a year in this place has given me.

so the fact that there's things here that need someone to fight them back is, a good thing?

Of course it is, Nate.
Look around. There's gangs and sometimes monsters.
Others of us out of control sometimes.

Someone has to do it.

yeah
and i can't pretend that hasn't given me, like. a purpose

i just feel bad for thinking that way, you know? because obviously it'd be objectively better if none of that shit were happening.

I want to be there for you, and this town.
This is my home, and I want to be there for it.

[ And he knows he needs purpose, to get himself back on track. ]

Nate, no. You feel that way because it is bad. You're a good person because you would rather it not be like that... but you're there for others because it is.

hey so!! do you have any special Christmas traditions??

Not ones I think I want to do here. It involved manor houses and the other families, and being reminded of our fate.

So no, no I don't. Got something in mind?

okaaaay that's legit.

so what about things to avoid then??? things you really don't want to see.

and Nate wants a Yule log and I want Christmas lights on the house and ofc we have to get a tree! so just trying to make sure we all have a nice Christmas this year :)

Honestly, it's with you guys. There's nothing off the table.

I love this idea, by the way. Us having our Christmas. Thank you for thinking about it.

We should find a way to physically or magically protect any tree we have though. Given the menagerie.

I would love to have candles in the windows. I know it's a Catholic tradition in some places, but my family say it as a sign to others of our kind as well.

Also wonder if I could figure out a recipe for Joe Frogger cookies. They were a local specialty around the holidays. I made them a couple of times.

do you know how hard it is to keep a cat out of a tree?? now imagine that cat has wings..

candles in windows would be beautiful!! i didn't know it was Catholic either so who cares. it's ours now :)

i just like the idea of setting up our own traditions. our own family now.

and there has to be a way to find that recipe. i demand cookies now!

I can't even imagine but I'm hoping between us we can figure something out. I hope.

What traditions do you think we should have? Decorating a certain way? A fancy dinner? Matching pjs? I'm sure Nate would love that.

I will find one. And make you cookies.

MATCHING PJS!!! I love it! also we're putting a pentagram on top of the tree (:

but!! I'm making the three of us watch the duplicity porn version of the Grinch and we can drink spiked eggnog while we do and see how many drinks it takes to get nate to glamour himself up as the grinch. that's a new tradition.

I bet we could get them in black. Matching black silk pjs?

Pentagram on top. What else? All the little goth and cute things around our place and the theatre? I'm all for this. It's nothing like I've had before so it would be all ours.

Ha! I love it. We could maybe recharm those Halloween charms into the Grinch.

you are completely speaking my language.

I'm glad you like the idea!! that's what I want most. I want Christmas to be all ours. screw our families. we're family now. so it should belong to us.

oh and the little dog charms too! what was his name again??? the grinch made him wear an antler or something like that?

Exactly. I want this to be about my time with you guys. Our celebrations.

Oh oh... Max. All the pets get antlers?

I need to tell you something but you have to PROMISE me you won't tell Nate

That's not ominous or anything.

You have my word though.
Are you okay?

idk I think so?
I may have fucked up.

nate asked me to take some emotions around stephen away from him so he could focus on helping kyle and nick better.
so I took enough to give him two days. which I've never done more than 6 hours at a time....

so like. I broke my crystal doing it.

Uhmmm... wait, you broke the crystal? The one that is basically there to save you?

Seriously?

yeah the one that helps me filter....

but... that's not the worst part.... see um.
it's better if i just show you.

( attached is a picture of Anna's throat. usually her crystal sits in the middle of a silk ribbon. there is no ribbon anymore, though. instead the crystal sits embedded in her throat, small, bright blue veins bleeding out from it through her skin. )

There's something worst? How could it be worst?

[ And then he gets the picture. ]

Oh fuck. Where are you?

[ On Christmas morning, a small package will appear at the foot of Caleb's bed.

Inside is a pendant, a long one, set with a diamond-shaped, ruby stone. Its frame is yellow gold, with clean lines and a fine chain that's a good deal stronger than it looks. It radiates with a strange kind of power which does not feel like Nate's.

But there's a note attached. ]

Normally, I make my own presents, but I made an exception. It's like the necklace I wear, charmed to protect you. Wear this, and you can take a blow that would otherwise kill you. You'll still be weak, but you'll have time to escape or drink one of these potions.

I want you to be safe all the time, and it's not in my power. This is the best I can do.

I love you.
N

[ Beneath the jewellery box, there's a set of six vials full of a bright golden liquid. ]

[There's a delivery made to Caleb's home with a small tag attached to the parcel that features a picture of a raven and a small note:

Use this to boost your luck with whatever you're trying to do, works once a day, take care of yourself.
Happy Candleglow, may your path remain illuminated through the year.
-Chris

[Once unwrapped, the present appears to be a small raven-shaped charm that can be attached to anything, it has Guidance enchanted into it.]

Edited 2022-01-04 01:44 (UTC)

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